Ramblings

Taipei Trip

2011-08-08T21:18:00.000-10:00

If you read the post, "JapanTrip", this is part 2. We spent the 1st half of the week in Tokyo and the 2nd half of the week in Taipei.

Pete and Esther Hsu left Bluewater Mission for Taipei almost a year ago. Pete was offered a job there and Esther started teaching English as a 2nd language some time after they arrived. On the site, Esther has been starting a Sozo ministry. It has gone through a few different stages. Currently, Esther and Heather (the pastor's wife) lead Sozo sessions, as the need arises. Our mission in Taipei was to equip those around Esther and Pete with some Sozo training and help lay a foundation for inner healing in general. Because the training went for a day and a half, we were only able to do 3 ministry sessions outside of the teaching time. Still, this made for very full days on Friday and Saturday. Sunday we had time to attend church and then head for the airport, but little else.

Our time in Taipei was quite different than our time in Tokyo. We still started each day with a "power breakfast" at McDonalds. Those were times for us to get started on the same page and share (sometimes discover) what we felt God was saying to us individually. The first thing we noticed was that, spiritually, Taipei felt much lighter than Japan. The oppression was no where near as heavy.

This was the first time that I have taught with an interpreter. That was an experience! I hadn't realized how difficult it is to keep your train of thought when you are stopping every sentence or so for the translator. After the first hour or so, we seemed to get into a groove and it seemed easier to keep the flow. Thankfully, I had an interpreter who was familiar with Sozo and inner healing lingo. There were a few times when my choice of wording gave her cause to pause. I still chuckle when I think of the "sexual sin" teaching. She looked at me and said, "Sexual sin . . . . how can I translate that?" She said something in Chinese and then looked at me and said, "There, that sounds better." LOL I knew that I was breaking all kinds of cultural taboos with that part of the teaching! It needed to be done, though, and the class took it all in stride. Some of them even nodding as I talked about intimacy attachments.

We did not make it through all the slides I had prepared, but I think I left their brains (and hopefully spirits) quite full. We stopped often to do breakout groups and practice the things I was teaching. My heart soared as I saw them practicing their new skills on each other.

The first night that we were in Taipei, I had dreamed about unforgiveness, bitterness and division. After talking with Monika at one of our power breakfasts, I realized that God had been revealing that those were "familiar" spirits over the region. I felt the division pretty strongly and observed it manifesting in a variety of ways in just a few hours. With that in mind, we started off Saturday by circling up with Pete, Esther, Jeff (the pastor), Heather (his wife), and Hsin-yi (our interpreter). We made a symbolic show of unity before we did anything else. As we went out to greet our class for a 2nd day, I decided we needed to do something with them to make a prophetic show of unity - not just doing something together, but incorporating our entire self into something - mind, body, and spirit. I taught them sign language to a simple song and then I had them scream. I gave them an example of how to do a releasing yell and then had them do one with me. Esther later said that she had been surprised at my scream - she had never heard anything so loud come out of a human before. hehe I was surprised at how willingly the class participated. Maybe my loud yell had left them a bit fearful of what would happen if they did not obey! :-) Having physically released our stress and any other "stuff" we may have been carrying, we worshiped together. We did the sign language song first and then Pete led us in the rest of worship. It was beautiful.

Friday night, I gave an example of how to read into one's gift mix by looking at them and asking God. They got to practice that on one another on Saturday morning. Esther kicked off ministry time Saturday afternoon by giving a few prophetic words. She's still got it! Monika then stepped in and spoke over the crowd. We then prayed impartation and release.

I don't have as many personal ministry stories in Taipei because we spent most of our time ministering in a group setting instead of one on one. Our class had between 15-20 people in attendance. Some of them had to come and go because of work. They work a lot in Taipei.

Other fun notes about Taipei:
*Heather and I had a great conversation about dissociation and how it manifests.
*We spent Thursday night in a hotel as we needed some time to rest from Tokyo and prepare for the teaching time in Taipei. (I also needed to finish my reading so I could do my online test!) The hotel clerk informed us, as we checked in, that they were full and therefore "had to" give us a suite. Wow! It was huge and beautiful. It was doubly nice because neither one of us had the energy to actually leave the room. I took care of my homework and uploaded the first half of our pictures onto facebook. Monika spent a little time catching up with Bill and her family. Then we skipped dinner and both fell asleep between 6-7pm. We were tired!
*We had a little adventure as we took the train into Taipei (we had stayed in Taoyuen) and then took a cab to meet Esther at her friends apartment. We learned that we would be staying there while her friends went on a weekend outing. It was huge! Three bedrooms and two bathrooms. As we were talking about this later, I realized that our living arrangements reflected the work we had to do in each area. In Tokyo, our space was small and focused - so was our mission. In Taipei, our space was large and open. Our training there seemed much more open. We were giving people tools to use within themselves or in their ministry. It was less focused on one or two specific goals and more like putting what we had out there and letting people take what they wished. I am not sure how well that comparison communicates, but it makes a lot of sense in my head. :-)
*We did one personal ministry session after the Saturday afternoon training session. Then, around 7pm, we went out to dinner with Pete and Esther. They took us out to something called "hot pot." It was yummy. I was limited on my choice of broth because of the whole "no sea food" thing, but ended up with this tasty Mongolian spice broth. It would have been a fun experience all on its own, but when combined with the release of knowing our ministry time it created a night I will never forget. We laughed so hard during that dinner that Esther wondered if they had spiked my soup! There is a picture in my facebook album where you can see Esther, Monika and I laughing by the ice cream container. That stuff was frozen solid!! Monika suggested taking the huge container over to the table and hovering it over our hot pot. hehe
*Sunday morning was an adventure, in and of itself. Heather came to pick us up and take us to church. We loaded everything into the back and closed the hatch. We then heard, to our horror, the locks latch. The car was running and Heather's 4-year old daughter who has Down's Syndrome was locked in the car. We prayed as we tried to find a way to communicate to Amelia how to push the button to open the window. Before long, a neighbor called 1-1-9 (like 911 here) and we watched as an ambulance and fire truck pulled up. They were getting ready to break out the window when another neighbor came out with a phone number for a locksmith. All this time, I am standing next to the window reading books, singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and Twinkle Twinkle - doing anything I can think of to keep Amelia's attention so that she doesn't accidentally walk around and knock the car into gear. The locksmith showed up and tried to use a "slim jim" type of device, but it didn't work. So, he picked the lock. :-) We were so happy!! It seemed a miracle that I, pretty much a stranger, had been able to keep Amelia's attention. Also, the guy who pursued the locksmith talked to Monika and asked her if we were missionaries. He shared that he was a Christian. The entire neighborhood came out to see the commotion. I am not sure how God will use that incident, but I am sure He will.

After the drama, we made it to church (only a half hour late) and got to be a part of the 2nd half of worship. It was beautiful. Pete led. (I always love it when Pete leads worship!) As if the worship was not enough, we got to hear the testimony of one of the men who is leaving the church to spend some time in Canada. He had been at the Sozo training, but I hadn't had a chance to learn his story. I heard it Sunday morning - and it was powerful! I am impressed at how he is confident in following God through his pain and recovery process and how he is already dreaming with God for his return. At the end, the entire church gathered around him to pray over him and send him off. We got to hear testimony from one of the young kids who is living his life as kind of a missionary outreach in Taipei. He is a young evangelist! The entire service was like a family reunion with people sharing what God was doing and worshiping together. It was beautiful.

This week seems like a blur. It is hard to believe that in 7 days, Monika and I were in 3 countries, led 15 ministry sessions, 11 hours of teaching, numerous prayer walks, 21 hours in the air, 8 hours in airports, and met many people who grabbed ahold of our hearts. Whew! When do we get to do it again? :-)

Japan Trip - August 2011

2011-08-08T17:08:00.000-10:00

Scott and Michica McDonald are friends of ours from Bluewater Mission. They moved to Japan in the beginning of 2011 to help care for Michica's elderly "Auntie." Little did they know that Auntie was only a piece of a much bigger puzzle. On March 11, 2011, Japan was hit with a devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami. I remember Scott saying, "Now I finally feel like I see the real reason for us being here."

Almost 5 months later, Monika and I arrive in Tokyo and begin our adventure in Japan. The McDonald's have been working hard. They have a steady stream of visitors that they shuttle up to the disaster site to volunteer. They have seen lives changed: those of the workers and those of the volunteers. In a land that is said to be less than 2% Christian (some statistics say less than 1%), this family has found people literally flocking to their home for prayer and encouragement. On Monday evenings, they worship with a group of YWAM students. On Thursday evenings, they host a small group of local Christians in their home. This small group, as well as Scott and Michica themselves, was the focus of our visit.

When Scott and I first discussed a visit to Japan, we talked about offering support to relief workers and ministering to those who had been in the thick of recovery activity since the disaster. Instead, we did something much more valuable. We ministered to those who will be there long term. As we ministered to the ladies of this group (yep, Scott is the rooster in the hen house) we recognized the beautiful giftings that God had placed inside each one. One example of this is Lena, our interpreter. We could sense from the beginning that there was a hunger in her. She had such a sweet spirit and it came out in the way she interpreted and participated in the sessions. She interpreted a couple of sessions for us and then had a personal session. Michica had planned to interpret the last Japanese session herself, but Lena asked if she could translate, instead. She loved what was happening in the sessions and wanted more! That confirmed our suspicions. Lena would be part of leading a sozo type inner healing team. We met other intercessors, as well as those with gifts of teaching, pastoring, and deliverance. By the end of the trip, we were referring to the small group that meets at the McDonald's place as their "house church." We have had a few updates from Scott and Michica already and I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this bunch!

A few extra fun details about our trip.
* Our flight over took about 7.5 hours. JAL is a nice airline, but there is not much legroom compared to planes of the same size from America companies. Literally, my knees touched the seat in front of me. In spite of that, we had a good flight. I think I watched 3 movies on the way over to ensure that I stayed awake!
* We staying in a hotel our first night. We thought it might be better to wait until we had some sleep to greet people and step into ministry. We learned that people smoke everywhere in Tokyo. You could literally see the smoke hanging in the hallway of our hotel. Thankfully, our room wasn't as bad and we were able to get good rest. The next morning, we woke up early (thank you jet lag) and went for a walk. We found a cute little park and enjoyed playing around there for a while. Scott and Michica got lost trying to find our hotel. Since we had a little extra time, we decided to play a little prophetic game. We jotted down words for Scott and Michica. We also got words for an unidentified woman and man. I found it interesting that the words for the woman and man very specifically fit the people Scott and Michica had arranged for us to minister to later that day. That was fun! :-)
*Day 2 found us up early again. The night before, we had gone out to walk and found another park. This was a real blessing - especially in the midst of a city. We visited the park again (it became a place of intercession for us) and had breakfast at McDonalds (the restaurant, not the home of our hosts.) We began to see a pattern of what we referred to as "power breakfast." The first day, our conversation around breakfast had brought prophetic words. The second day, it brought about an interesting time of revelation. You could tell it was revelation by the way I randomly started crying as it came. It was something to do with Japan, Germany, WWII, and a principality. If you want to know more, you will have to ask me. It all still seems a little surreal. After our breakfast, we went back to the university and felt compelled to stop and pray over the campus. We didn't understand what that was all about until we talked to Michica. She informed us that her grandfather had been a devout Christian. He had taught at the university and interceded for its students. No wonder we could feel righteousness in the land. . .
*Day 3 started at McDonalds for another power breakfast. We did a couple more ministry sessions with members of the "house church" and then spent some time ministering to Scott and Michica directly. They had put out a lot of physical and spiritual energy over the past 7 months! We then talked about the promise we felt like God had given them and the beauty of what God had surrounded them with. We ended the evening with our first "Joy Circle" at the university. From what I understand, they have had regular Joy Circle's every day since then. Praise God!
*No allergies! I am extremely allergic to mold and mildew. Monika is also allergic. We were sleeping and ministering in a room that had a fair amount of both (I don't know that one can get away from it in Tokyo) and neither one of us had ANY allergic reaction. We were completely covered!
*I ate a Japanese peach! I don't like peaches - at least I didn't think that I did. I was looking for apples when I saw a fruit vendor. He only had peaches and he offered me a sample. I took it, not wanting to be rude. Wow! It was fabulous! I have never had a peach that tasted like that. Amazing.

Check out my facebook pictures if you want more info. A few of you will get emails regarding some of the more "spiritual" things that occurred. It is hard to believe that all of this happened in 3 days. Whew!

Safety First - Pt 1 of Inner Healing Series

2011-03-23T21:17:00.002-10:00

In this series, I am hoping to pass on some of what I have learned in the Inner Healing world. I knew the first article in the series must be on safety. After all, what is the first thing you are supposed to do when you come upon the scene of an accident or find a person injured? Check the scene for safety. If the environment is not safe you either call for help and let a professional deal with the situation or you break all kinds of rules in order to get the person to safety. (It is not considered wise to wait for a professional to help someone out of a burning building, even if it appears they have broken bones.) Safety comes first.

This is also true in the arena of Inner Healing. When a person comes to you for help, the first thing you do is check to see if the environment is safe. Even after you have determined things to be "safe," it is your duty to periodically check in to make sure it stays that way.

How does one go about "checking the environment" when dealing with spiritual and emotional issues?

Check the physical set up of the room you are using.

How is the lighting?
Is the temperature reasonable?
Are there tissues nearby? (It is better for the person to start out near the tissues so they can choose to grab them instead of you later putting them in their hands or, worse yet, shoving them in their face.)
Are phones set to silent or vibrate?

2. Watch the client's body language and adjust your voice and proximity accordingly.

Your voice can be loud enough to hear and still be gentle. Sometimes the person will actually feel more secure if they hear some authority in your voice. Watch how they respond as you speak and adjust accordingly.
Body language and proximity tend to go together. Be aware if you are leaning in or kicking back. For some, leaning in gives the client a feeling of being listened to and cared for. For others, it makes them feel pressured and intimidated. One person may feel more at home if you kick back, while others may feel that you are not taking them seriously.
Reading body language is largely about paying attention. Does the person look comfortable? I will discuss this a bit more later. Hint: If the client is stiff as a board or curled into a little ball, they are probably not feeling safe.

3. Take time for a little small talk at the beginning of your session.

This does not need to be a drawn out conversation. Give them five minutes of the session just to discover that you are human and not too scary.
Use this time to observe how they speak and act when talking about things that are non-threatening to them. (Note that many are still nervous, especially if it is their first time to do an inner healing session. They may not interact on a completely relaxed level, but it will still give you a decent baseline.) If they relax from that point on, you are fine. If you notice changes later and the person does not look relaxed, be aware that their level of anxiety may be increasing or their ability to be present may be decreasing. (It is also possible they are just getting tired or annoyed.)
If you haven't already done it, purposely decide that you care. If you can care during the small talk, you will be able to care as issues arise.

Here are a few tips to help you maintain a healthy atmosphere during the session.

Ask for permission. In many ways, the fact that the person has come to you asking for help offers you a spiritual (and often emotional) authority. However, it honors the person when you ask for permission. i.e. "I would like to walk through forgiveness for your parents right now. Does that sound okay?"
Give them freedom to not be dictated by your instructions. Often we expect people to close their eyes when we pray or when we ask them to visualize something. Not everyone is comfortable with this. I will often say something like, "If you are comfortable, go ahead and close your eyes and relax." If they do not close their eyes, it is fine. It is not unusual for someone who has experienced trauma to be uncomfortable closing their eyes, especially with someone they do not know. I also let people know from the very beginning that I am sometimes wrong and that I will not be offended if they disagree with something I say or do.
Normalize! When you are in the session, nothing that is said should shock you - at least not in any way that would show on the outside. Everything about you should reflect acceptance. This includes your voice and facial expressions. And please try not to gasp.
Do not yell at the person - even if your session turns toward spiritual deliverance. If you find yourself dealing with a demon, take authority and do what you need to do. But do it with honor. The person should come out of a deliverance time feeling special and loved, not dirty and shameful. Deliverance techniques will be discussed in a later article, but know that you can do a cleansing work without ever raising your voice. What scares demons is how much you look like Jesus, not the volume of your voice.
Body Language, Body Language, Body Language. Learn to read it. Tune in to the rhythm of your client's communication and notice when it changes. If the client has been talking freely and then there is silence, pay attention. It doesn't mean you have to fill the silence with your words, but notice it. Look for patterns. For example, a person rubs their forehead every time a sibling is mentioned. Make a note of it. Maybe they start to blink rapidly when you begin to talk about a parent or teacher. Pay attention.

If you feel that the person you are ministering to is beginning to feel uncomfortable or anxious, simply check in with them. "How are you doing?" "What's going on in there?" "Are you still with me?" "Do you need to take a short break?" Give them the option to continue moving forward or to set that topic aside for a while. If they want to keep going, great! Let them move at their own pace. If they want to set the topic aside, that is fine, too. Either way, I will usually pray for them and try to bring them back to an emotionally safe place before I do anything else. (If they choose to move forward and are in the middle of a memory or working through something, it is possible they will not feel safe until we have finished dealing with that issue. Sometimes, the fact that they believe you to be a safe person is what will allow them to move forward, in spite of what they feel.)

Well, that sums up my view of "Safety First." Feel free to post any questions and I will do my best to answer them. Also, let me know if there are any particular topics you would like included in this "Inner Healing Series."

Kindness and Judgment

2010-08-10T09:04:00.002-10:00

Hi, my name is Jeannie and I am a judge. I don't like to think of myself as judgmental, but I must confess that I am.

(Flashback) I happen to be an external processor, which means that sometimes I discover ideas as they fly out of my mouth. (As opposed to those who actually think things first!) I was talking with someone about the importance of forgiveness when I experienced one of those times. I said something to the effect of, "I think maybe the reason God is such a stickler about us having an unlimited supply of forgiveness for others is because it is only when we are truly able to forgive others that we really believe we, too, can be forgiven." I tell you this because I believe it relates to what God is teaching me about judgment.

We are told that we will be judged as we judge. Could it be that this is not just a command God has given, but a reality that He is revealing. Within myself, at the deepest parts, I feel that I am judged by God and others by the same standards I use to judge those around me. It is the root of much of my insecurity and self awareness. Is it possible that if I can fully release my right to judge and begin accepting people and circumstances as they are, I will find myself accepted or acceptable? Maybe this is not a curse of God, but a result of how our mind works.

Maybe, God knows the inner workings of a man (or woman) so well that He knew that if we could not forgive and release those around us, a part of us would cease to believe in His freely given forgiveness for us. That it is actually our own mind that imprisons us.

I don't think I am alone in my judgment. It is a wide spread disease. I don't know that any are automatically immune. Most likely we all have to fight to build up antibodies against it.

This morning, I reread the story of Hagar and Ishmael and I saw an amazing picture of God. God's people disobeyed. They created the problem surrounding Hagar and Ishmael. If that wasn't bad enough, God's people then labeled Hagar and Ishmael as no good and shunned them to the desert to die. (Sound familiar?) And then the part that brings tears to my eyes. God, Himself, purposefully goes after Hagar and Ishmael to encourage, provide, and protect them. God's people cast judgment. God casts kindness and mercy.

It is amazing to me how God managed to honor His relationship and covenant with Abraham and Sarah (His love for them never wavered) and chase down and honor Hagar and Ishmael. What an amazing God we have!

God, I surrender my right to judge. I want to be free to love those you have placed around me. I want to receive Your judgment, not my own. I lay down my pride. My tendency to think, "Well, it is okay for them to do that, but I am above that sort of display." I confess that those are words of pride and judgment and I hand them to You, God. Take my judgment and fill my heart with Your kindness.

Discernment

2010-06-23T13:31:00.003-10:00

"However, it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him' - but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God." I Corinthians 2:9-10

"So that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ." Philippians 1:10

Some of you know that I have been doing a Bible Study by Beth Moore entitled, "Living Beyond Yourself." There is so much richness here. There is much I could say after this session, but I will focus on "heightened discernment" at this time.

A look through the Bible will show you that the word "discernment" is used more often in a positive context than a negative one. This caught my attention. I was already invested in the teaching, but I suddenly realized that something was about to step on my toes. I was right. Beth went on to talk about how a critical spirit will often mask itself as discernment. How does one know the difference? Discernment is rooted in love. A critical spirit is rooted in pride and arrogance.

A couple of weeks ago, while I was swimming, God began speaking to me about something rather uncomfortable. He showed two different glimpses into my life.

The first was me at peace. It was during a season when my ability to see the giftings and potential in people was quite high. It was a nice picture.

The second was me nervous and discontent. In this scene I was seeing in others motives, etc. that were not good. I was building walls around myself.

Which was discernment? Both were rooted in a similar gifting or instinct. What made them different? Holy Spirit empowered discernment is rooted in love. Since perfect love casts out all fear, there was no need to worry. I was free to say, as Paul did, my life is worth nothing to me, because I know how valuable my life is to God. I know He handles me carefully and purposefully. (I may not always like how some things feel along my journey, but that doesn't make them bad.)

A critical spirit left out love. What good does it do anyone, including myself, if I can see the heart only to despise it? Does this help the person? Does it protect anyone else? Does it protect me? The only way a critical spirit can help is by building walls. It may seem helpful and protective at the time, but eventually I will come to see that I have succeeded only in building myself a prison.

Now, I rarely walk completely in HS led discernment or a critical spirit. In one day, both could make an appearance. However, I want to continually grow closer to being able to walk in HS led discernment. After all, without love I am only a resounding gong, right?

How do I move in the direction I want to go? I get into the Word and I ask for filling of the Holy Spirit. That could take me off on an entirely different bunny trail . . . .

Jesus

2010-06-19T19:45:00.005-10:00

I read Colossians 1:13-17 this afternoon. I have read this passage many times. My head knew what was there. My heart did not. Things that awaken in our spirit are often inadequately described by words, so please try to read on with your spirit rather than your head.

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,in whom we have redemption,[a] the forgiveness of sins.
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

I knew Jesus spoke us into creation. But this passage was huge for me. Let me pause for a moment to tell you a short story.

The past 2 nights I have woken up to the bed shaking. It felt like a minor earthquake. Now, to the best of my knowledge we have not actually had any earthquakes recently - not even little ones.

Last night, I woke up to the shaking (I am using the term "woke" very loosely!) and thought, "Are we having an earthquake? Do I need to be ready to spring out of bed and rush to the doorway?" "Is my blood pressure doing crazy stuff?" Then, the thought occurred to me that some people have talked of spirits shaking their beds at night. This may sound arrogant, but my automatic response to that was, "What demon would be stupid enough to do that to me?!" (It is not that I never face attack, I often do. They just tend to be more subtle.)

Before I could follow that line of thought anywhere, I felt something (God, I would imagine) prompt me, "Don't follow that train of thought. It will feed fear and you don't have anything to be afraid of." ooookkaayy. "Just say 'Jesus.'"

Now, have you ever been in a state where your mind seems to be quite conscious, but your body is still very much asleep? That is where I was. It took an absurd amount of energy to turn my body over and force out the word, "Jesus." I had a song going through my head, "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" I think. But there was no way my vocal chords were going to squeak out a melody.

I grunted the name of Jesus and almost immediately passed out again. (I was tired!)

You see, I have known for years that we come against evil "in the name of Jesus." I knew demons shuttered at the thought of Him. I knew that He was God. But, for some reason, I always thought of Him as the weaker part of the trinity. (I know, theologically it doesn't make sense, but emotionally that is how I saw Him.) He was kind, loving, etc. He is The Word. He spoke creation into being. He spoke ME into being. What I seemed to miss along the way is that He also spoke angels, demons, principalities, and powers, rulers and authorities "of this dark age" is the way Paul put it to the Ephesians.

Why do we use the name of Jesus when fighting on the spiritual realm? It is not just because Father God wants Him to receive honor. It is because HE CREATED THEM! The thought crossed my mind, "He spoke you into this world and He can speak you right back out." (Mother's often threaten that sort of thing, but Jesus could actually DO it.)

Jesus. So much more than I understood. So much more than I understand. Wow.

Trembling, Rejoicing, and Kissing

2010-06-05T16:10:00.002-10:00

I woke up this morning wondering what I wanted to do with the day. Most of my friends are at the Bill Johnson conference. I had decided not to go. I decided to head into Logos Bookstore where I found a used book section. I certainly could not pass up the opportunity to add to my library at $.25 and $.75 per book. (I did splurge and spent $2 on one of them.)

As I step into the much dreaded role of leadership, I have been thinking seriously about what I really believe. I grew up in one of the more strict holiness denominations. Lots of rules. Some poor people saw only the rules and no power. I was one of those blessed to see both. I am part of a non-denominational church plant where grace and activation are highlighted. Beyond that, now I am in the charismatic world at large, I also see a subculture of people who stress experience and emotion.

As a leader, which of these things do I water? What is okay to neglect and trust that God will take care of? When does one cross the line into micromanaging someone else's relationship and walk with God? These are just a few of the questions I have been asking myself.

One of the books I picked up today is entitled, "Passion for Jesus," by Mike Bickle. In one chapter, he goes through Psalm 2. Here are verses 10-12

"Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of the earth. Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him."

I could paraphrase what he says, but instead, I will just quote him,

"God is awesome in splendor and terrifying in His greatness. This royal One has no superior-no equal. When we get a glimpse of His eternal, majestic splendor and beauty we are filled with reverential fear. We tremble before Him."

"If we only feel fear and trembling in the Presence of God, we will never experience the fullness of His grace. David says we are to rejoice before Him as well. We are to exult and rejoice in the benefits of our inheritance."

He goes on to describe how the phrase "kiss the Son" speaks metaphorically of the special intimacy we are designed to have with God.

I like these three anchors. Trembling, Rejoicing, and Kissing. I get the feeling that it is not a balancing act. It is all - of everything. All of me trembling in awe before Him. All of me rejoicing in the benefits of my inheritance. All of me embracing the passion of my God.

Onward!

Avatar

2010-01-29T23:23:00.003-10:00

This entry is being written to address the big question, "What did I think of Avatar?" Apparently the movie is controversial and considered by some to be dangerously New Age. I talked with a woman tonight was seemed somewhat afraid and offended by the movie, yet had not seen it. She wanted my opinion on whether or not it was "safe." Oh, my. While I don't consider Avatar a children's movie, it certainly did not offend me. Quite the opposite.

Now, it is important to note that I am the same person who, just a few days ago, mentioned feeling messages in the wind. To some, that is already a red flag. :-) It is possible that I am a bit more liberal in that area than some Christians. And that is my disclaimer for what I am about to say.

I loved the movie. Hmmm, how should I organize my thoughts? :-) I guess I will just list them as they come to me, so they are not in any specific order.

1) There was a point in the movie when my spirit was very sad. The male lead stepped out in faith and began to pray. The female lead came up behind him and sadly told him that it was pretty much a wasted effort because their deity existed only to keep the balance of nature. A part of me wanted to sign up to be a missionary to Pandora right then. To tell them that the God of the universe was interested in so much more than the balance of nature. I kept thinking, "They are so close . . . ."

Then, some time later in the movie, God shows up. The female lead is stunned. And my spirit shouted, "Now THAT is my God!" He is a God who fights for and with His people, who turns the impossible into the possible, who has a personal interest and investment in His people. And, while the people did not yet understand that about their deity - and the director may or may not have understood it either - the true character of God showed up.

2) SPOILER ALERT
When the main male character is praying, he tells the deity that earth destroyed its mother - implying that each planet had its own deity. What he did not realize was that he had already been proven wrong. Just before one of the humans died, she opened her eyes and said, "I am with her. She is real." And then died. This sounds like the God of the universe, not of a planet. This deity had no dilemma regarding the woman being alien to their planet.

I imagine part of the New Age fuss is that their deity is referred to as "she" and "mother." I can see how this could ruffle some feathers. I, personally, do not take offense with this because, while we have been taught to refer to God as "Father", I doubt He is limited by gender. My guess is that He is the perfect embodiment of both genders. I do understand the argument regarding the many "goddess" based false religions that have been around for centuries.

One of the things I find to be interesting is that it is very possible that the creators of this film intended for it to be New Age-y and "goddess" based. But, if it was, I think they missed. You see, in another setting, I probably would have been uncomfortable with this aspect of the movie. But the God I know kept showing up. I could ramble about that for a while . . . :-)

3) Especially as Americans, I think we chose to ignore some aspects about the way the church is described in Acts. I believe there is power in unity and submission. I think this is demonstrated in the movie in some interesting ways.

4) I like that the "real marine" was the good guy. :-)

5) I like the whole concept of "I see you." But then, I would. . . .

6) I enjoyed the liberation theme. Made me think of our Social Justice Ministry and the traffickers. They may believe that money and violence run the modern world, but there is Something much bigger!

7) I love that the tide is turned because of one man's prayer.

8) I like that a broken "alien" is who God chooses to assign as the ambassador of liberty. Again, that sounds like my God.

I left the movie reminded of what an amazing God I serve and found myself humming worship songs as I made my way to the car. My humble opinion - Avatar is a great movie to foster intriguing discussion.

2009 Christmas Card

2009-12-18T13:42:00.000-10:00

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God as Laughter?

2009-12-07T09:38:00.002-10:00

A few of us got together last night to hang out, worship, and pray. (By the way, thanks Pete and Tiffany for leading us.) It was a nice relaxed night. At one point, we put in Keiger's iPod and played, "Start a Fire," and "What Do I Know of Holy?"

I put my head back and began to chat with God. I was listening to the lyrics,
"What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?"

And I felt God say, "I am laughter."

I was taken aback for a moment. "Is it okay to speak of God as laughter? I don't think that is scriptural." "Laughter doesn't go with Holy!"

Then I began to hear the laughter. (It was more like the memory of the sound of laughter.) Now, there are all kinds of laughter. The giggle of those being silly. The dark laughter of those doing things they ought not. The knowing laughter of those joking around. This was none of those. It was a laughter that rang of freedom. There was no worry or stress in this sound. Somehow it seemed to carry love and goodwill.

The more I began to listen to the laughter, the more it seemed to fit God. It was the free chuckle of one who knows everything in the world and yet has joy. Joy. Yes, that is the best word to describe the laughter. Joy.

It reminds me of a sermon Jordan gave not too long ago, during the Nehemiah series. He mentioned that we so often misinterpret the phrase, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." We think that it is our joy in the the Lord that makes us strong. He presented the idea that it is indeed understanding that the Lord finds joy in us that gives us strength. It is not our joy, but rather "the joy of the Lord."

God as Laughter. Hhmmm . . . .

Pain Cloaked in Praise and Remembrance

2009-04-28T09:15:00.003-10:00

I was reading through the Psalms this morning. I know the basic pattern of the Psalms, cry out and then worship, but it hit me differently this morning. Crying out gives validity to the pain - no pretending it isn't there or that it doesn't hurt. The Psalmist takes his brokenness to the only one who can see the situation from the perspective of eternity. Then, he reminds himself of the faithfulness and largeness of God and finds strength.

People all around me that I love have been hit with crisis - some small, some large - recently and my heart breaks for them. Psalm 77 caught my attention this morning. Every once in a while, I pray the Psalms. So I will pray it as I type it out and add my own words in parenthesis. Forgive me if some of them seem sassy. God understands me. Here goes . . .

I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens. (At times, so do my neighbors!)

I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord; my life was an open wound that wouldn't heal.

When friends said, "Everything will turn out all right," I didn't believe a word they said.

I remember God - and shake my head. I bow my head - then wring my hands. (I confess my wavering between faith and fear.)

I am awake all night - not a wind of sleep; I can't even say what is bothering me. (I rarely know what the real problem is.)

I go over the days one by one, I ponder the years gone by.

I strum my lute all through the night, wondering how to get my life together.

Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good? Will he never smile again? Is his love worn threadbare? Has his salvation promise burned out? Has God forgotten his manners? Has he angrily stalked off and left us?

"Just my luck," I said. "The High God goes out of business just the moment I need him."

Once again, I'll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished, and give a long, loving look at your acts.

Oh God! Your way is holy! No god is great like God! You're the God who makes things happen; you showed everyone what you can do - You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble, rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph. (I have seen you heal the sick and comfort the troubled. You have provided for me in abundance many times over.)

Ocean saw you in action, God, saw you and trembled with fear; Deep Ocean was scared to death. Clouds belched buckets of rain, Sky exploded with thunder, your arrows flashing this way and that. (You have the power to calm the storm and stop the rain. I have witnessed you breath a soft breeze into the air when I was hot and miserable and pause the wind when I needed to catch my breath.)

From Whirlwind came your thundering voice, Lightning exposed the world, Earth reeled and rocked. You strode right through Ocean, walked straight through roaring Ocean, but nobody saw you come or go. (Your power is so much bigger than I understand, your scope of understanding so far beyond my own.)

Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron, You led your people like a flock of sheep. (Thank you for providing me with shepherds who pray for me and support me. Thank you for being my ultimate shepherd.)

Jeremiah 29:11 - Too Often Misused

2009-03-12T22:46:00.002-10:00

I went to the Hawaiian Islands Ministry Conference tonight. As any good, anticipatory student, I went online to preview the classes being offered and tentatively set my schedule for the weekend. Then, I arrived at the conference, chucked my previous workshop selections and chose one that had not even crossed my radar before that moment. This blog is in response to that seminar. However, I was dealing with God during most of it, so don't expect this to be notes from the speaker. He triggered a conversation between God and I, and that conversation is the topic of this blog.

The basic question addressed in the workshop surrounded the hope offered in Jeremiah 29:11. It is a scripture quoted often to those feeling down, discouraged, in despair, or any other number of "d" words. We try to encourage one another with the words, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and bring you a hope" yada yada yada.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I love God's word and this is a great verse, but I don't think it was intended to be used to explain why things should go right for us in the world. There are a couple of problems with that use of this particular promise.

1) This was not addressed to an individual. The promise was given to a nation of people. From the little we know about Jewish history from that time (and even hints given later in the text), we can conclude that there were individuals among those who received this promise who did not live to see this promise fulfilled for them. They did not return from Exile. They did not prosper. The nation, however, did return from Exile. Did they prosper? I suppose it depends on how you look at it?

2) This promise is proceeded by God telling the nation that they would be in captivity 70 years. Hhhmmmm. That doesn't sound like a promise offered for tomorrow - or immediate relief.

If you know me well, you have probably heard me mention before that the one thing that sticks out to me about Southern Gospel music is their focus on Heaven. This life is what it is. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad, sometimes we just feel like we are walking around in a cloud, not knowing if things are good or bad. But we know Who and what wait for us. We know that, one day, "It Will Be Worth It All."

It was good to be reminded to look at life from an eternal perspective. And to be reminded that I am part of a plan much bigger than myself. That somehow, God has figured out the balance between using me to further His plan and not allowing anything to push me past what I can handle. (Corinthians)

I have trouble with the theology that because God is good, He will only cause good things to happen. I think, ultimately, that is a true statement. The problem is that we don't always recognize "good." God, seeing the entire picture, is the only one who can truly diagnose "good."

A couple other thoughts came to mind as I was listening.

1) If God has a purpose for me, I want to be here to fulfill it. I say this with much fear and trepidation because I don't really want to be tortured to death or captured and beaten within an inch of my life. But I do want to be a piece of God's plan. I think of David and shudder with new understanding of the words, "I will not offer anything that cost me nothing." I am an American. Not only do I not like suffering, I am personally offended by it. Yet Christians all over the world endure it in a variety of forms.

2) I think Joshua 1:9 provides a promise I can more readily apply to troubled times. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the LORD, your God, is with you where ever you go." (Loose translation.)

3) God is with me. He has a plan. His plan is big and someday I am going to get to see what my role was in said plan. For now, my job is to trust. I will ask for good things, because my Father is good. But I will do my best not to assume that I always know what is good.

4) God, the master at oxymorons, somehow manages to communicate, "It's not all about you!" with a healthy dose of "I have numbered all the hairs on your head," kind of intimacy mixed in.

I don't really have a conclusion, so feel free to write one of your own, as you comment. :-)

Notes from Danny Silk, Feb. 14, 2009

2009-02-14T17:43:00.002-10:00

These notes came from the Culture of Honor Seminar. I am tired, but want to get them out before the moment passes. I will come back and edit later if they do not make sense. :-)

Danny's job at Bethel is to create a "fireplace" for the fire carriers he works with on a daily basis. Fire is a great thing, but we don't want "fire on the sofa," so to speak.

A culture of honor allows us to be uniquely different and uniquely powerful. Freedom is not for everyone to be the same.

To be free is to be able to put the best you have on display.

Definitions of honor:
1) To glory in, or promote. Honor does not happen among strangers, it happens among those who are closest to you, who have disappointed you, hurt you. We are told a blessing comes with honoring our parents. Who do we know better? And who has had the opportunity to disappoint and hurt us the most? Honoring our parents and previous generations is a way to pull out the good inheritance. Find the glory that was in them, whether they used it well or not, and claim that as your inheritance. We have 2 choices of how to gain inheritance. We can gain it through honor or through resentment; unforgiveness or glory.

2) To elevate the status of another. Ex. Jonathan giving his royal regalia to David, a lowly shepherd. Jesus has also given us royal regalia. We are co-heirs with Christ. Question for thought. Some ask why God allows poverty, suffering, injustice, etc. A better question might be, . . . "If we are empowered to be greater than Christ on this earth, why do we allow these things to happen?"

3) To give prestige to somebody. Prestige = Access to resources. ex. Billionaire friend. This partner creates resources and opportunities you would never have on your own. When we are honoring someone, we are offering them resources and opportunities they would not have access to without us. (By the same token, when God honors us, we receive His prestige.) Side note: Don't try to make your pastor the king, attempting to draw people into your kingdom. Instead, take your prestige to everyone on the island.

4) Great respect and admiration. This is typically given to those we agree with or whom we are like. We have more difficulty offering respect and admiration to those different from us or who do not agree with us.

Admiration = wonder - finding the best about you. Honor manifests when we disagree, not when we are getting along.

THE HEART OF HONOR IS EMPOWERMENT. Nothing about you determines if I will honor you or not. I honor you because I am an honoring person. When someone disagrees with me, can I honor them still? Honor ALL people. Can I do that? or can I only honor those who agree with me? We think we have the right to judge/dishonor those we disagree with or who do not follow what we believe to be God's will.

Do I really need to honor/empower everyone?? What about children?? women??? sinners???? What if they are knowingly sinning?! Yes, we are called to honor/empower all, regardless.

Empowering does not = ignoring. It requires action.

What makes me more powerful than you? Typically people say things like Violence = Power or Anger = Power. We say, "I will introduce suffering into your life if you do not give me what I want. I am willing to hurt you to get my way." We believe and feed others the lie, "Other people have power over you." We teach this lie to our children.

We teach that LOVE is a Mac Daddy yellow truck crushing a little red truck when the yellow truck does not get it's way. Then we teach people that God is love. God becomes the ultimate Mac Daddy yellow truck, ready to crush us at a moment's notice. We get this picture of an angry God who can only control his temper by looking at a picture of Jesus and reminding Himself, "No, can't completely destroy them because of my son . . ."

Question: If God is punishing us for our sin, why are we still alive? Shouldn't we all be LONG gone by now? Consequences are not God punishing us. I John 4:18

If we remove the threat of punishment from our community, why will people behave? What will motivate them? How will we control them?

We need everybody powerful AND we need to have the keys to confronting people. We need to learn to confront in ways that will not trigger people's defenses. We need people to be powerful because you can not confront powerless people and have a good result - and we need to be able to confront one another.

"We don't confront prisoners, we try to calm them down." Paul Manwarring 2008. You can't confront a prisoner with good results.

We are afraid of conflict. We must learn to confront one another. How can we walk alongside you and fix this? How much trust is there in this relationship.

KINGDOM CONFRONTATION
In Kingdom confrontation, you must have 3 things, Trust, Self-Control, and Good Questions. Strength or relationship sets the tone for this to be able to happen. (Visual Aid of a tissue being ripped easily and a rope holding firm.)

Truth cultivates trust.

I can control myself on a good day. I can never control you.

Learn to ask good questions, not just throw scripture at people and judge them. (Story of man on staff who was like a torch running through a hayfield. He had to help train the man to think, plan, and pay attention to the things that did not come naturally, but not in a dictatorial fashion. Powerful guy meets powerful guy.)

Ex. Abraham and God bargaining over the destruction of Sodom. If God is confrontable, who is not?

Heaven trusts us amazingly.

Psalm 32:8 You will see my heart through my eyes.
Psalm 32:9 Don't live to need a cop.

Powerless people need rules, not freedom. Powerful people demand freedom.

2 Corinthians 3:17 in The Message.

Video clip of Stacy at the Quarter Horse Championship. (She coaxed her horse to do things no one else could get a horse to do, using only her voice and a gentle touch. Riding bareback with no bit in the horses mouth, no reigns, just her voice and gentle touch.)

How are Covenant and Honor Connected?
Covenant Purpose - Galatians 2:20

Side Note: Jesus did not help everyone while he was here. There were towns he simply passed through. In fact, he was going to pass by the disciples the night he was walking on water, (and they were struggling with their oars!)but they stopped him.

THE NATURE OF COVENANT
A binding agreement requiring death.
****Genesis 15 - God and Abram
****Old Testament sacrifices on the altar.
****Baptism and Resurrection.

Walking through death together implies, "May the same fate fall upon us if we break the covenant." There is no real covenant until there is death. John 12:23-24 I Corinthians 15:36-38

You do not determine the outcome of the other person in the covenant relationship. "I will add strength to your life, but I can not control what you do with it."

Hebrews 9:17

You don't really see the covenant until you see a corpse. When you might embarrass me and I walk away, I fail the test of covenant.

A relationship becomes a covenant when I convince those around me that I will die to protect the relationship. I am willing to put my name on you and your failure. I BELIEVE THAT YOUR FAILURE WILL BE EXTINGUISHED BY THE GREATNESS IN YOU THAT WILL EVENTUALLY BE REVEALED.

When I am truly in covenant with you, you will feel my strength being poured into you.

Redwood roots only go six feet under. There strength comes from the fact that the roots of the entire grove intertwine and grow together. The have "lateral roots."

"I will find a way through these obstacles with you." I am now facing situations that are created by someone else's life that I can not control.

KNOWING PEOPLE OF COVENANT HELPS MAKE COVENANT POSSIBLE
Being people of covenant makes it contagious. It is a willingness to believe in you through your mistakes and failures. "I will confront you until your nose falls off, but I will never stop believing in you."

Ex: Farmer with prize winning corn was asked how he manages to win every single year. He answered that he takes his prize winning corn and hands out it's seed to all of the neighboring farmers. This ensures that the pollen surrounding next year's crop is as good as it can possibly be.

Who are the people you are currently surrounding yourself with?

Galatians 2:20

Again, I don't control you with my seed.

Good stuff! I can't wait for tomorrow night!

Too Safe?

2009-02-12T18:21:00.002-10:00

Random Thoughts:

I was leaving Ala Moana Park a couple of days ago, when I had this odd sensation of a mountain lion lying in wait, ready to pounce. There are no mountain lions on Oahu, to the best of my knowledge, nor anyplace for them to hide at Ala Moana Park. The passing impression did start a dialog in my head, though.

What would I do in a place where wild animals could be lurking, hiding? Would I have any kind of instinct of what to do? Would I have a fighting chance . . . at all?

Then I thought about things like drive by shootings. I know they happen in cities all over the nation, but I have never lived in a neighborhood where I have to worry about being shot while walking down the street. Random people frequently fight, yell, and cuss outside my window at night, but none of them have pulled out a weapon to create a horrible, permanent solution. What would I do in a place where people acted like wild animals? How would I survive.

There are people suffering a variety of things throughout the world - many of whom would not call what they experience suffering, but rather life. Yet, somehow, I have lived nearly 35 years without ever having to truly fear for my life. I am thankful, but I can't help but wonder, how will I survive/adapt if and when that changes?

Heart's Cry (prayer)

2009-02-08T21:18:00.002-10:00

I cry out for Your people in the islands. Come and reclaim Your people. Reveal to Your Bride how to pull people out of the mud. Teach us how to love dirty people. Empower us to see healing pass through our hands. God, I long to see Your Kingdom grow. Purify my motives.

LORD, I have heard from many that you always choose to heal. That we pray that only what is in Heaven will be in Earth. But, Abba, I think there is a difference. We humans need opportunity to learn how to control our bodies and our emotions. We need to learn how to stand against evil spirits - and our own flesh. If we never get tired, never get sick, and never know heartbreaking trials, how do we learn to rely on you? I think of the angels who stood in the fullness of Your presence - and yet fell. God, I beg that you would humble my life in such a way - cause me to fall so much in love with You, that rebellion against You would not be in my heart.

God, as much as I long to carry the ability to do miracles, even more I long to carry peace and conviction. I want, in every way possible, to draw Your children home to You. Is it wrong for me to long for the days when we mourned our sin more than we mourned giving up our sin? Let us know how desperately we need you. Turn our hearts away from entertainment and distraction and make us lovesick for you. May we long for true excitement and adventure. Don't let fear stand in our way, LORD! Let me long for You more than anything. More than the touch or approval of men. More than anything. . .

Taken

2009-01-31T17:37:00.003-10:00

I went to see the movie "Taken" this afternoon. It left me with a few thoughts. Before I go into said thoughts, I want to say a couple of things.

1) This is probably a spoiler, so don't read it if you don't want to know about the movie. I won't intentionally spoil, but I probably will anyway. You can always come back to read after you have seen the movie.

2) The previews that were shown before the movie disturbed me greatly. I tend to be a little hypersensitive but, if you can, go get popcorn during the previews.

3) The one thing I think they should add to this movie is a PSA (Public Service Announcement) at the end about what to do if you suspect someone is involved in a human trafficking situation and how to get more information on the problem.

Okay, now onto the movie. My thoughts, as usual, are a bit random so please bear with me as I sort them out.

I was glad that I saw the movie on many levels. I need to be reminded that human trafficking is a real problem with widespread and horrible consequences. It is too easy to shove that disturbing information into the back of my mind. I appreciate that they showed how easily girls can be taken and how quickly their lives can be ruined.

While the subject matter grabbed my attention, it was the father's character that really got me thinking. He would stop at nothing to get his daughter back. Now, I realize that some of you may find yourselves offended by what I am about to suggest. It is okay. Our blood needs to burn a bit from time to time. :-)

I feel like the father in this movie showed a great deal of the characteristics of the ultimate Father, God. For a while, I found myself thinking, "But no one could do all of this. No one is that good." That thought was soon followed by, "God could."

We all know the "sweet" story of how God came to earth to die and save people from sin. What if God's heart carries a passion similar to that of the main character of this film? What if His desire to have us home "safe and sound" looks that desperate. Unconditional. Nothing allowed to stand in the way. No risk too great. What if He was willing to fight through all of those trying to use, abuse, and possibly even kill us? Even when we made the choices that put us into the situation? Even when we were not in good relationship with Him?

What if God were that kind of Father? How could I help but love Him, adore Him?

Last week, Jordan (my pastor) challenged our view of a shepherd and suggested maybe we think "cowboy" instead. This movie prompted me to take a step even further. After all, doesn't the Bible describe God as all of those things mentioned above? Faithfully warning His children about the danger their choices will bring. Faithfully pursuing them to save them and set them free, even after they made those very choices. Fighting the darkness of this world. Desperate for us to come home. This is not a gentle, mild mannered, paper pusher. This is someone dangerous to evil.

What if it is His job to take out the evil and our job to help clear the way? Honestly, I do not have the strength, nor the skill set (and probably not the stomach) to take down a human trafficking ring. I doubt I could even stop gang activity in the inner city. But I can help clear the way. I can pray. I can introduce people to God. I can listen to His voice, trust Him, and do what He says. I can have my eyes open to both the physical and spiritual realms and be aware of how both are effecting the world around me. I could administer the IV to the rescued girl while He finishes wrangling the "bad guys." (Metaphorical ref. to the movie.) I could provide my resources. I could heal. I could deliver. I could be God's sidekick.

So much to ponder. . .

Quotes of the Night

2008-12-11T20:12:00.002-10:00

I had a few quotes from tonight's reading that I felt worthy of sharing. Please feel free to comment on them or post your own additions. :-)

"How often we wear ourselves out praying for more patience, faith, joy, or peace. All of these are the supernatural response of a Spirit-filled believer! It is not fruits. It is fruit. A more appropriate prayer is, "Lord, purify me and make me a fit vessel for Your presence. Then fill me to overflowing with Your precious Holy Spirit." Beth Moore (A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place)

"Once we place our trust in Christ, we are drafted into a fierce spiritual battle. Often kingdom life is likened to a Caribbean cruise in a luxury liner. People change into their leisure clothes, grab their suntan lotion, and saunter down to the docks. What a shock it is when they find that living in the kingdom is really more like enlisting in the navy and doing battle with a vicious enemy."

"We have been given the keys to the kingdom, the authority and power over the enemy, but if we do not exercise that power, it is of no use. The kingdom of darkness is organized to distract us, to prevent us from doing God's bidding. Through the glitter of materialism and power, sexual immorality, and the promise of self-fulfillment, Satan diverts our attention from the Kingdom of God."

The previous quotes were from John Wimber (Power Evangelism)

"An angel from heaven appeared to Jesus and strengthened him"

2008-12-11T20:03:00.002-10:00

How many times have I skimmed over this passage? I knew about the angel who strengthened Jesus after spending 40 days fasting in the desert. How did I miss this angel? I actually went back to my last 3 Bibles to see if I had highlighted the passage and just forgotten it. Nope. Somehow, as many times as I have read this passage, I missed it.

This verse appears between 2 I am very familiar with.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done." and

"And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground."

It took an angelic visit to strengthen Jesus enough to go on. And even then, He was in anguish to the point of shedding blood like sweat. For some reason, this verse changes how I look at the passage.

Am I the only one who has overlooked this gem of a verse? Does it impact anyone else strongly?

Luke 22:43

Early Christmas Thoughts from Luke 1

2008-11-03T11:05:00.002-10:00

This morning, I felt an odd prompting to read the Christmas story in Luke. I fought the prompting a bit, telling God that I could probably quote the story by now. I then remembered we had a copy of The Message. The following thoughts are a result of my time spend with God and The Message this morning.

The first thing I noticed was the introduction. I am not new to the Bible, but the wording of the introduction cause me to look at Luke differently. Here it is . . .

"Most of us, most of the time, feel left out - misfits. We don't belong. Others seem to be so confident, so sure of themselves, 'insiders' who know the ropes, old hands in a club from which we are excluded. One of the ways we have of responding to this is to form our own club, or join one that will have us." Eungene Pierce goes on to remind us that Luke, himself, was an outsider and made a point to show how Jesus accepted the outsiders to himself. Very cool.

Luke 1:8-12 I got excited when I realized that these people were practicing the earthly version of what Jesus was about to do for us. At the time when one priest (this time it was Zachariah) went into the temple, the congregation was gathered outside praying. I can only imagine how strategic it was to have people praying/interceding while a lowly human walked into the Holy presence of God. It was serious business! Remember the stories of tying a string with bells to the ankle of the priest who went in so they could drag him out in case they were struck dead in the presence of God. (Does anyone else wonder how often that happened?)

We don't do that anymore. Yet we go before God regularly. In fact, we beg God to send down an increased presence. How are we able to do this?! Jesus. He became our intercessor, right? The sprinkling of His blood is what allows us entrance to the Father's throne room, but it is His intercession that keeps us safe while we are there. Those people gathered outside praying while Zachariah went before God was a foreshadow of how Jesus prays for us so that we can go before God. So cool!

"Unannounced, an angel of God appeared just to the right of the altar of incense." I love that Luke specifies that it was unannounced. I guess, since some of the other angelic messages were announced??

1:15-17 I think this offers an answer to the question, "How do we prepare people to meet with God?" Listen to how The Message words this, especially the last part.

"He'll drink neither wine nor beer. He'll be filled with the Holy Spirit from the moment he leaves his mother's womb. He will turn many sons and daughters of Israel back to their God. He will herald God's arrival in the style and strength of Elijah, soften the hearts of parent to children, and kindle devout understanding among hardened skeptics - he'll get the people ready for God."

I guess my next questions is, how do you kindle understanding among skeptics? Or soften the hearts of parents to children? Maybe I should be praying for the strength of Elijah.

1:29-33 "Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you." hehe I had to laugh at that wording. A slight understatement by the angel, perhaps?

1:36-38 "And did you know that your cousin Elizabeth conceived a son, old as she is? Everyone called her barren and here she is six months pregnant! Nothing, you see, is impossible with God."

I am not sure why it hadn't occurred to me before. Maybe it was because this morning I looked at things from the prospective of inclusion. God made use of those most likely to be written off or ignored. Mary was "young and stupid." Elizabeth was "too old to be of much use." By the standards of this world, these two cousins were among the least likely Israelite people to bring about God's plan for redemption. I love that, with all of the other cool stuff He is doing, God also spans the generations, bringing unity to cousins separated greatly by age. It is just all very, very good.

Political Thoughts

2008-11-03T10:05:00.002-10:00

I voted on Saturday and had a few political thoughts to share.

1) How did I vote? Very carefully! The most difficult office for me to vote on was that of President. Honestly, I don't feel that either of the main candidates are ready to lead our country. Then again, who is? The only way anyone should ever approach that position is with fear and trembling!

I listened to a recording from IHOP Atlanta that said no matter who the new president is, he will have a prayer target on them because they will be praying for God to speak and move in his life. And that is what helped me decide how to vote. I asked myself, "Which candidate is most likely to listen when God speaks?" Once I found the answer to that question in my heart, I voted.

Who did I choose? Possibly the same person you did. Maybe someone different. :-) I decided not to tell. Wouldn't want my decision to influence or condemn anyone else's choice.

2) I had a brilliant idea to get people to vote. I did absentee voting at the mall. I think, if they are going to offer voting at the malls, I think the malls should encourage people to vote by offering voting incentives. If you bring your voter receipt, you get 20% off your purchase, or some such thing. It might encourage a whole new demographic to vote!

I guess those are all my political thoughts for the moment. Be sure to cast your vote!

Week of Blessing

2008-08-27T18:00:00.002-10:00

About this time last week, I felt God telling me to pull back. I was too busy doing scheduled activities. My schedule was way too planned. I talked to my boss and to my ministry partner at church and told them that I needed to pull back. When I did, I felt this huge burden lift from my shoulders.

This week I have made a point of seeking out what God wants me to do for each day. As I have, I am reminded that, when I look for God, His hand is everywhere. I will comment on my own post with stories of how God has been making Himself known this week. Feel free to jump in with your own stories of what you see God doing.

Night at the Bar

2008-08-27T17:56:00.001-10:00

Sauni and I went to go see Mama Mia tonight. Total cheese, but also quite entertaining. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. We had a lot to catch up on, so I suggested we go to a small Karaoke Bar near where I live after the movie. When we arrived, there might have been 4 other people in the bar - and none of them were singing. Anyway, the comedy of the night (and there was plenty!) is another story. Eventually a few more people arrived and we began to sing. I finished my diet coke and sang my song and had some guy buy me a drink. Now, it has been a looooooong time since anyone has bought me a drink (in that fashion), probably 10 years.

It didn't take long for the guy to introduce himself and begin to talk to me. When he finally took a breath, I turned to Sauni and said, "This is what I do, now. Considering the people who tend to be drawn to me, he is probably dealing with a spirit." She chuckled - for a moment. As he began to spill his life story, pain began to shout out of every fiber in his body and the spirit(s) started to stare out of his eyes. Sauni had turned away for a few minutes to watch someone singing and when she glanced back, she noticed the transformation.

I wanted so badly to pray for the guy, but we were in a bar. So I prayed under my breath and pulled out my key chain flask of oil and anointed his cup when he wasn't looking, and later his shoulder. I figured it couldn't hurt. I knew he couldn't really hear what I was saying. He just saw the nodding and smiling, so I began to answer his comments with the same smile and nod, but with a gentle, "Bring your peace, Jesus." or "Heal him, Lord." He didn't know the difference. I suppose God alone knows if it actually made a difference.

There was another lady there that I prayed for, as well. Again, I had to do it from a distance. I asked God to give me some time away from the noise with them, but when I went outside, half the bar followed me out. I didn't get the chance to lay hands and pray for either one, unfortunately. I left, unwillingly, as I wanted to stick around and see if God would yet open a door for prayer. Maybe next time. :-) Something tells me going to a bar will never be the same again . . .

Charismatic Nazarene?

2008-08-20T08:53:00.003-10:00

Earlier, I blogged a bit about our Prayer Retreat (in June) and some of our Ala Moana Park adventures that followed. Somehow, in the midst of all this, Keiger and I have emerged as leader type people. Not that we have been given any power (well, not earthly power, anyway) but at least a few people have decided to come along for the ride.

It still feels a little odd for this Nazarene girl to find people looking to her for charismatic leadership. Why, to watch, one might think I actually knew what I was doing. :-) True, I left the Nazarene church a number of years ago, but in many ways it still has my heart. Many of her ministers and missionaries are good friends of mine.

My heart has always known that I was a mystic. I always related better to them in Church History. Heck, I remember anointing a piece of sidewalk at MNU asking God to set that place aside as Holy - that people who walked across it would feel the presence of God. And the rules bothered me. I just could not buy into the theory that obeying rules made you holy. Obedience is good, but simply following rules is too easy.

When I first began praying in tongues, I emailed one of my old professors. People had started asking me about it, so I went to a source I trusted for scriptural guidance. He gave me great scriptures and told me that tongues were not for the church today and that one should not rely on experience as one's teacher. So I looked up and researched all the scriptures he sent out. And realized that I didn't agree with his assessment. Statements in scripture were not strong enough to support tongues not existing today. In fact, Paul's descriptions seemed very much like what I had experienced. I wonder if the strong church stance against it has more to do with the divisive history of this particular gift than Biblical evidence against it.

Enough on tongues, but that was when I realized that I could probably not return to the Naz church, at least not at this time.

My journey has led me to see people healed (and unfortunately, some not), delivered from spirits and strongholds (called by many different names), witnessed (and delivered a few) prophetic words. Fun stuff. I love it.

But guess what. When I find myself running low on energy, faith, hope - spiritual fruit, I suppose, it is my early Naz teachings that get me back on my feet. Somehow, God used my church to instill in me the importance of obedience and sacrifice. Not to man made rules, but surrender to God. I learned how to choose trust when my humanness can not fall into it naturally. I learned that true power comes through surrender. I learned that everything should be tested against the Word of God. I learned that nights spent in prayer often result in miracles happening before your eyes (or in mission fields far away).

So, while I may no longer fit well into the Naz mold, I am grateful beyond words to my mentors from that tradition. God used you to keep me steady and sure footed. Thank you for being used. :-)

Time to Write

2008-08-20T08:49:00.003-10:00

I am going to try and be more purposeful to write over the next few days. I noticed that I am getting a lot of "hey what's up with you lately" emails. Besides, writing helps me process. I will try and separate by topic so that no one has to read them all. :-) I probably should go in to work, but it will all still be there for me in an hour, I am sure.

Wholesome Water

2008-06-21T12:49:00.000-10:00

I was reading in I Kings this morning. The lives of Elijah and Elisha were filled with miracles and any miracle is awe and faith inspiring, but this morning the following story caught my attention.

"The men of the city said to Elisha, 'Look, our lord, this town is well situated, as you can see, but the water is bad and the land is unproductive.'
'Bring me a new bowl,' he said, 'and put salt in it.' So they brought it to him. Then he went out to the spring and threw the salt into it, saying, 'This is what the LORD says: I have healed this water. Never again will it cause death or make the land unproductive.' And the water has remained wholesome to this day, according the the word Elisha had spoken."

There is something about that last line that stirs my heart. An entire community was effected by this bad water. It caused death and made their land unproductive. From the day Elisha threw salt and blessed it, it brought life. Not just to the people who lived in that area at the time, but for future generations as well. Oh, how I long to see God heal in ways that effect generations.

What are some of the things around us that bring death and stop productivity? Is it to much to ask God to allow us to bless those things so that they change and begin to cause life and productivity - cause them to become "wholesome water?" I would encourage you to wrestle with God a bit about this. Are there people or places that He is ready to bless through us? How?

I would love to hear your thoughts. For those of you no longer in Hawaii, please participate anyway. :-) I believe your input is valuable as well.

24 Hours of Prayer

2008-06-09T11:58:00.002-10:00

This has been such an amazing weekend that it is difficult to know where to start! A friend of mine coordinated 24 hours of prayer at Calvary Episcopal in Kaneohe. I always try to participate in things like that because I feel like if we are willing to wait on God, He tends to show up. But my weekend started even before that. Thursday night, a friend of Vern's asked us to bless her bar. The following is from an email I sent out in response to that event.

"Thanks so much, Vern for inviting me to go and pray. I confess that after hearing Cecilia talk about Jordan I was a little intimidated about living up to that reputation, but they were all so gracious. And it was nice to feel the difference in the atmosphere after we prayed. Did you guys get the ghost stories? I didn't realize so many people who worked at the bar had actually died, but it helped me understand why there had been such a strong prompting to pray for hope and safety.

My favorite "chicken skin moment" happened while I was talking to Cecilia's son. I had just finished praying over a corner behind the kitchen and then gone out and felt led to spend time specifically setting aside a spot near the d.j. booth. It was just after that when Dave and his son started talking to me about the deaths. Dave walked off and the son told me about a day when he was completely freaked out because he watched a ghost he didn't recognize (apparently there had been others that looked familiar?) walk from the wall (same place I had prayed over in the kitchen, only the other side of the wall) to the place next to the d.j. booth (the other place I spent extra time praying at.) It reminds me that, while we do not always understand what we sense in the spiritual realm, it is still very real.

I enjoyed our time there very much. I have to laugh at your friend who doesn't believe in God pushing for us to host a Bible study there in the bar. hehe"

At 6pm the next evening, I found myself sitting in a pew waiting for the opening ceremonies for the 24 hours of prayer to begin. People from a variety of different nationalities opened with prayer and worship in their own language. I knew that God was up to something good. I had been able to feel the "juice" all day. I had to leave the building to go do a prayer walk/drive with our human trafficking team around 8:30pm, so I missed a few hours Friday night.

Before I left, a group of friends who have been starting a prayer team at their church came in and we had a few minutes to talk. They were hungry for more of God and were hoping to get prayer to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I knew I had to leave soon, but told them I would be back, with other Nightlifers, as we were supposed to lead worship from 2-4am. If they wanted, we would pray with them then.

When I returned I noticed they had left and was a bit disappointed, I thought it might have been for the best since for a variety of reasons none of the other Nightlife peeps were able to make it. Callie showed up right at 2am and we began to worship. At some point while we were worshiping, I realized that other people had come in. It was my friends from earlier in the evening! We worshiped together for a while and then I put on a CD and asked if we could pray together. Callie and I (later joined by a few others who saw what was happening) began to pray for them. There were 5 of them. The Spirit was so strong! (I am sure the desire for God that drove them out of bed at 2am fueled some of that.) Some of them fell to the ground, others simply enjoyed being filled with more of God's love and purpose, and a couple experienced some deliverance. We spent an awesome few hours together.

The word spread and the next day another of the girls from the team came to be prayed for. She had amazing breakthrough and a cool little adventure with God. Visions of Heaven and all. Neat stuff. Who says God does not still move today? :-)

My head in the sand?

2008-03-20T00:26:00.000-10:00

A month or two ago, I emailed some of you a link to Nightlights Bankok. A ministry that works with people (mostly women and children) who are escaping from the human trafficking industry. This is a follow up on that email.

To further flashback: Just before Christmas I watched "Hairspray." One of the songs caught my attention. I have placed a link to it below. It is called, "I Know Where I've Been." I remember thinking, "What are the issues we 'march for' today?" "Have we come to a place where things are relatively just in the world and there are no issues to fight for, or am I one of those who have had my head burried in the sand?" Take a look at the clip, if you haven't already seen it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I0qqJv-aXI&feature=related

A few ladies from our church have been talking to God about human trafficking for quite some time. Recently, they began to share what they have learned and we, as a congregation, have decided to walk forward and do something about it. We will be hosting the first of many social justice conferences this fall on the campus of UH Manoa. The first one will focus on human trafficking. Things are still in the early planning stages, but we are hoping to educate people on the reality of the problem and provide outlets to respond as God leads them.

I confess, my head was burried in the sand. One estimate says that over 300,000 children/young teens are trafficked in the United States. And not only in a couple places like New York or Los Angeles, but throughout the country. And that is such a small piece of this worldwide problem. I will probably be traveling to Thailand this summer to help set the stage to, hopefully, send future missionaries and learn more about setting up safehouses You will probably here more about my journey as things progress, but for now take a look at this video.

Check out this site for a good 3min video on the trafficking of
children. The quotes from the victims are quite moving.
http://www.ahavakids.org/video.htm
-V

Jeanie

Awesome Song

2008-03-20T00:20:00.000-10:00

Possibly better entitled "Awesome CD." I recently downloaded the We Believe CD by Brian and Jenn Johnson. I love the CD, but one of the songs has grabbed ahold of my spirit in a most unique way. I have attached the lyrics. iTunes has it, if you are interested in hearing/downloading it. It is entitled, "A Little Longer."

A little longer

w/m by: Jenn Johnson

Dm

What can I do for you

Bbmaj7

What can I bring to you

Csus C A7

What kind of song would you like me to sing

Dm

I’ll dance a dance for you

Bbmaj7

I’ll pour out my love to you

Csus C A7

What can I do for you beautiful king

Chorus:

Bb Csus C Dm

Cause I can’t thank you enough

Bb Csus C Dm

I can’t thank you enough (repeat)

Csus C

Then I hear you sing to me

F F/E F/D

You don’t have to do a thing

F/C Bb2 F/A

Just simply be with me and let those things go

Gm7 Csus C

They can wait another minute

F F2/E Dm Dm/C Bb2

Wait this moment is to sweet please stay here with me

F/A Gm7

And love on me a little longer

Csus C F

Cause I’m in love with you

ccli# 4429658

Copyright 2003 We Believe

Your Kingdom Come 2/5/08

2008-03-20T00:12:00.000-10:00

God has been prompting me to pray for His Kingdom to Come more regularly, and sometimes unexpectedly. This morning was a cool example.

I was getting ready for work and kept hearing this annoying beeping sound. It went on for like 10 minutes before I looked out the window to see the object of my irritation. I saw a city bus driver jumping on and kicking the handicap access ramp. Apparently, he had been trying - unsuccessfully - to get it to retract back into the bus.

First I chuckled at the situation. Then I was prompted to pray for God's Kingdom to come. I asked God to heal the bus and then to bless the driver and the people waiting outside. I won't bore you with the dialog, but I will tell you that as I was praying I heard the people cheer. The beeping stopped and the ramp had retracted into the bus.

You would have thought that someone regrew an arm with the way I danced across the room. :-) God is cool.

Careful with Me

2008-03-20T00:08:00.001-10:00

I was driving today, listening to a CD. I began to worship lightly and found myself in a conversation with God. (Quotes not directly from God's voice - my interpretation only. hehe)

"You trust Me, right?"
"Sure. I am becoming stupidly naive. I believe anything is possible."
"You know I have a plan?"
"You always have a plan. For everything. Everyone."
"I do have a plan. Many of them. But I want to let you in on a secret. I am careful with you."

I sat in my car and pondered that for many minutes. What does it mean that God is careful with me? To me it meant that God does more than have a plan for me. He counts the cost of everything that happens in my life. He weighs which decisions I should make completely on my own and which He is going to speak clearly into - and all of those in between. He knows how each life event will shape me and does not take lightly those that will push me or break me in some way. He is careful with me.

I started to question the pain that some of my friends are going through and just felt peace. I purposefully chose you to share this with. And I pray that God will bless you with that same peace in your journey.

Home Visit Christmas 2007

2008-03-20T00:04:00.002-10:00

I trust all is well in Hawaii. Things have been ok in Iowa. Family is family, but no one has been shot or rushed to the hospital with emergency infections. :-)

And I have been blessed to spend time with my nieces and great nieces. I may never see myself reflected in the eyes of my own children, but I do see parts of me reflected in those girls. Holly was a very young mother, but God has been gracious and she and Ryan are raising two wonderful girls. The oldest, McKenzie, doesn't miss a thing. She is in Kindergarten. I told Holly she would end up being a writer or some kind of artist. I am convinced that she sees things that most of us do not. There is something unique about that girl. Riley is a little terror, but that goes with being 2. She has the smile of a heartbreaker.

Anne was always close to me. I went to college when she was 5, but before that she was always at my side. She is the one that I see myself reflected in the most. She even dances around the house like me. :-) She is almost 21 and going to college for human services, surprise, surprise.

Tonight I went to a hockey game and then to the casino with Holly. I lost my allotted amount early on (I decided on my amount before hand), but she came out ahead. It was worth the money to spend quality time talking to my niece, but I am soooo not a casino person. It felt like I was literally buying time.

It snowed some today, but has not yet been bitterly cold. I am thankful for that. I miss you all and will be thinking about you on Sunday.

Deep Thoughts - or Slightly off color Joke

2008-03-20T00:00:00.001-10:00

I received an email forward from my roommate, Sauni, this morning. I included the forward at the bottom of this email so that you can reference it at any time. :-)

The forward is a picture which changes, depending on your perspective - and on which side of your brain happens to be in charge at any given moment. It prompted the question, "I wonder what else we don't see?" It is amazing how much our physical bodies determine our perception. For us who are spiritual minded, it might bring up other, similar questions. It was in thinking about perspectives, etc. that reminded me of a thought that had occurred to me earlier this morning.

I had been thinking about the passage in Genesis where Abraham was walking with God and discussing the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah. It appears that Abraham bargained with God not to destroy the area if there were even 10 righteous. I have heard many discussions around the question, "Can people change God's mind?" using this passage. This morning, I saw it from a different angle.

Surely God does not solve problems in the same way we do. His thought process is most certainly higher than ours. I think God already knew what His decision would be. But He decided to partner with Abraham. He lowered Himself to be seen in human form. Then, without a lick of pride, walked Abraham through what was about to happen, letting Abraham think and talk through the situation.

I was waxing eloquent (ha-ha) to Sauni (roommate), when I said, "It is amazing that our God, who is so big, would come and let us peon people partner with Him in a way that we could relate to. . . "

Sauni never got past the first part of my sentence. She was doubled over laughing. This is what she heard. "It is amazing that God, who is so big, would come and let us pee on people. . ." It is all about perspective! Scroll down to see what started all of this,. :-) Oh, btw, I saw her turning counter-clockwise.

Fall Update 10/07

2008-03-19T23:56:00.002-10:00

Well, since my mom and dad have both pointed out in the last week or so that it has been a while since I did a mass emailing, I decided to send out another update. In some ways, not much has changed. Nothing new to tell. And in other ways, so much is happening. I am sure you all know the feeling.

I was glad to catch up with some of you during my California travels this summer. That was good fun. I got to see a lot and talk story with some people that I don't get to do that with often - at least not face to face. :-) I also got to see Mario and Lyndi when they visited Lyndi's dad on Maui. Thank God for $25 inner island flights! It was a great time where I got to catch up a bit in person and see their beautiful new addition.

I am still teaching music at Windward Nazarene Academy and I enjoy it. We hired a person to close, so I don't have too many days when I am working from 7:30am-6pm. At least not days when I am forced to be on the clock all of that time. There have been plenty of long days for other reasons, but at least I don't feel locked into them. I really enjoy the year around schedule. It allows me the variety I so desperately need. I have learned that I get much less productive when placed in a position of doing the same thing for months or years at a time. I need the shake up every few months. During this break, I have worked a little bit and attended a 2 day conference. Mostly, though, I have been using it as a time to follow up on some people that I have been working with in church. More on that later . . .

Church is going well. I feel like we are starting to break new ground. At least for us. We have something called a "Holy Spirit Retreat" 2-3 times a year. It is a time to introduce those who are interested to the "job description" if you will, of the Holy Spirit and at the end of the retreat to spend some time just waiting for God to come. There are usually some pretty cool, and often life changing, things that happen on those retreats. We just had one a couple of weeks ago, but things at church started changing even before that. I can't pin point exactly when it started, but you could see things kick into gear as a burden of prayer began to fall over various parts of our community. We started meeting every other Saturday night to pray together. Our pastor, Jordan, made it very clear in our leadership meetings and in services that he was praying specifically that God would lay on us a spirit of intercession. I would say that has happened. :-)

It was during a worship night that we had after our regular Sunday night service that we first saw God start to break through in a more obvious sort of way. People came to the front of the room and worshiped freely, but there was also a heavy spirit of conviction in the room and even while some celebrated, others were crying out to God. We did have some of those funny manifestations that people get uncomfortable talking about, but it was clear that we were in the presence of God. We have continued to see good things happen in our services.

Earlier I mentioned our Holy Spirit Retreat. Now, this is normally a great time to refocus and then charge up. We study a few scriptures about the Holy Spirit on Friday night, talk about I Corinthians 12-14 on Saturday morning and break for people to meditate, pray, play, socialize, whatever for the afternoon. Saturday night brings us back together for a time of fellowship (dinner), followed by our confessional time (we actually get into groups and practice confessing sin out loud) and then we come back together into the big group for worship and prayer. It is during that time that we ask the Holy Spirit to come and fill. Good times. Well, this time things were a bit different.

I was scheduled to help set up and work the registration table. A young boy (18) who often helps with worship walked in. I could tell that something was very wrong. After speaking with him for a few minutes, I learned that he had visited his doctor earlier in the day and had been told that he needed to do everything that he needed to do this weekend. Both of his lungs were preparing to collapse and even with surgery, there was only a 40% chance that he would live. (It is a long story, but he had just been released from the hospital a few days earlier so we took what the doctor told him seriously.) He was not supposed to do much of anything, particularly he was not supposed to sing. I prayed with him then briefly. When Jordan found out what was happening, he pulled a group of us into a side room to pray for healing for this boy. Talk about an intense time of prayer! There was a large window in the side room where we were praying. As people walking into the Holy Spirit Retreat, they walked into this. Interesting way to start . . . . (By the way, the end of the story is that the boy is living his normal life with no surgery. I haven't heard the official doc report, but since they did not take him into surgery last week, I take that as a good sign! Also, the physical symptoms he was having did disappear.)

You can imagine that the retreat was more intense, even from the beginning. During the Saturday prayer time, we had at least 1 other deliverance. I was personally involved in that one as well and, as it took up much of the night, I didn't spend a lot of time watching what was happening around me. But I heard good stories. :-)

Some of you may think that I am certifiably crazy by now . . . :-) You can see why I don't always jump to share my stories immediately. I don't think that is what people expect to hear when they ask me how things are going. hehe Although, those of you who have been around me for a long time are probably not too surprised. :-)

Looking ahead, I expect to continue to see God work. More than anything, I want to continue seeing people set free from whatever holds them in bondage. I am looking at the possibility of traveling again in 2008. We have a couple of trips planned that deal with organizations that help rescue people from human trafficking/sex trade situations. Both in Asia. One organization is around Thailand, I believe. The other is in Northern Asia, old Soviet Union area. We also partner with a place called, "Home of Love" orphanage in Bangladesh. Two of my close friends are preparing to do DTS and this spring and then move to Bangladesh to work with the orphanage. I am not sure yet where I will go, but I am praying about it. You can pray with me, if you wish. I would also like to do something in our country. One of the ladies at church travels to Delaware every year to do Holy Spirit Retreats at the church where she grew up. I may see about going with her - or just see if any other doors open.

Goodness, are your eyes crossed yet from all of that reading?! I had better sign off. Please don't forget to include me in your updates. I always love to learn what is happening in your part of the world.

Lessons Learned In the Trench 5/2/07

2008-03-19T23:48:00.000-10:00

I am currently working on putting out 2 programs for school. One of them is this Friday; the next the following Tuesday. In all practicality, there is no way that I could do them both as I had originally envisioned them. I sort of knew that going in, but figured it was worth a try. :-) In the midst of my being frustrated with myself for forgetting things, not communicating well, or simply letting things fall through the cracks, I am learning a pretty big lesson. And that is what I wanted to share with you.

You see, even as my pride has been injured through this journey by the knowledge that things will not be as smooth and polished as I might have conjured them in my head, I think that I am beginning to see a bit of what God sees as important - His agenda, if you will - in these programs. As I am forced to let go and trust Him, I see His picture beginning to form. And it is a picture that brings tears to my eyes even now. I think God is being gracious in allowing things to come together in a manner that I think will be pleasing if not perfect, but here are a few of the ways I am seeing God's agenda playing out.

In the younger grades:
*Maddie, our kindergartner with Leukemia, has been able to participate in some after school rehearsals and is planning on performing with us. She is an "in-your-face" visual reminder that God will sustain us, even in the Wilderness. To hear her sing the words, "For all You have done Lord, my heart fills with gratitude. And for all that you are, Lord, I give you my praise. Now here in this very place, I have found your redeeming grace. Now I finally see how great Your love is for me." could melt even the hardest heart.

*Through a series of events that was not altogether pleasant for her teacher, God is taking one of our young soloists on a journey of learning submission. Out of respect for her I don't want to say too much, but I don't think the timing is a coincidence.

*Some of our children who have had problems in the past have found success in various little parts of the program. Two of my kindergarten boys have really stepped up to help lead their peers. Daniel and Koanui have had their struggles during the year and I love seeing them take their program responsibilities so seriously. They make great spies!

In the older grades:
*I assigned solos to many children who have never had one before and they have risen to the occasion. Not all of them are perfect, but I am so proud of them for getting up there and giving their best effort! For some, this is waaay outside their comfort zone.

*Some of the students decided to participate in skits. A few of them wrote their own lines and it was fun to watch their creativity ride. One of my girls is doing a monologue that talks about Jesus being our friend, not just our judge. I have enjoyed watching her as the words sink into her heart. The skits have provided more than a few teachable moments.

The older group did a run through of their program today and I saw some changes from when we started preparing this program. I saw students congratulating one another on a job well done and cheering one another on. I heard them laugh together and sing together. And I think these are the reasons God wanted this musical to happen.

All in all, I like what God is doing. Truly, in our weakness, He is strong. :-)

Thanks for letting me share.

Compassion Sunday

2007-03-25T13:00:00.000-10:00

One of my prayers for Spring Break was that God would speak clearly during this time. That it would be a time free from clutter where I could hear His voice and grow a little. In an attempt to help facilitate that I have been on a liquid fast. (I have the worst craving for a good steak!) God is good and in many small ways I feel that I have heard His heart. So far it hasn't been anything huge, just glimpses of things through "God glasses." Nothing that I felt the need to sit and write about.

Until today. Today was Compassion Sunday at First Prez. Wess Stafford, president of Compassion Internation was scheduled to speak at our church. There have been few presidents of companies that I care to hear speak. Great business men rarely make for what I would consider a good speaker - at least on a heart level.

My tears started when Sonya began to sing a song about a Somalian woman. The song was accompanied by a video presentation. The Mr. Stafford stood up to speak. He spoke of growing up on the mission field and how everything he knew about how to run an international company was learned around the campfires of that small, poor village. He spoke of poverty as if it were a person or spirit working to steal hope from people all over the world. The service ended with some of our talented keiki singing. My tears, however, are still near the surface.

There are so few things that Jesus asked us to do. Make disciples. Feed the poor. Clothe the naked. Visit the prisoner. I would venture to say that most Christians spend most of their time focusing on making disciples - if that.

Something else happened Friday that impacted me greatly as well. I went to a Cancer Clinic to pray with patients. One of our members is a radiologist in the clinic and they advertise that there will be healing prayer for those who need encouragement each Friday. I heard about it for the first time on Friday and decided that I needed to go. Our shift was only for 45 minutes and we spent most of that time with one woman. We prayed with her, but God opened the door for us to talk and learn some critical things about her. Things like she moved into a new house just before she was diagnosed with cancer and they began treatment. She is a single mom of 4. She sleeps on a mattress on the floor. They have no microwave in the house and she has felt too week to go to church during her treatment cycle. She felt shame to ask for help and therefore has no one providing meals and/or words of encouragement. God opened the door for us to be able to begin meeting some of this woman's needs.

How many more hurting people must their be out there? And how do we find them? Is it reasonable to expect that we live our lives to purposefully be in certain places at certain times? To try to allow our paths to cross with the hurting? If so, how do we do this?

One of my roommates feels a burden for children in the sex trade. Another one has a heart for the children of Africa. In fact, she is there right now. Trying to do whatever she can to make a difference in their lives. They are my heros. People who refuse to turn a blind eye to what is happening around the world.

Obviously this begs the question, what should I be doing? How do I respond? Contribute? I do have the opportunity to influence a number of children through my job. And I think that is good. But I don't think that is all.

I used to speak a lot in different churches. I have only done this a few times in the past couple of years and may be a bit rusty, but I just can't shake the desire to do just that. I can teach and I can pray. While I do want to see and help first hand as many as possible, my heart is actually in building an army. I long to go to churches, missions, parks, whereever God might lead and share what He has shared with me.

1) God sees you free. From whatever binds you up. God sees you as if you were already free. He knows your potential and longs to work with you to see it come to pass. No matter what your prison, it is not a barrior God can not work through.

2) God sees others free. As we learn to walk in freedom, God calls us to see others through His eyes of freedom. To see the potential hidden within. To love no matter the cost or the loss. He wants us to become vessels for His freedom.

3) God longs to empower us to be those vessels of freedom. On our own, there is little we can do. But if we learn to allow God's power to flow through us, there is nothing we cannot do.

So how do I combine those desires? How do I live in an intentional way? How do I communicate these things to my kids? How do I incorporate these values into teaching music? How do I organize my life so that the most important things do not get left out?

I am rambled out for today. Feel free to share your thoughts on any number of items I rambled on about today. :-)

Life As a Story

2007-03-18T21:16:00.000-10:00

Tonight my pastor, Jordan, introduced a new sermon series. It centers around our stories, not necessarily our life stories but rather stories we have gathered throughout our lives. The series sounds quite interesting and I am looking forward to hearing these stories.

In his message, Jordan mentioned that a good story is full of unexpected turns, pain and suspense. He then asked us if we were interested in having our lives be a "good story." It got me thinking. You see I feel like God has been challenging me lately with the question, "How is your life different than it would be if you were working at a Mission Station in a foreign country?" "What things would you be doing there that you are not doing here?" etc.

I have stories to tell, but things have been rather comfortable since I started teaching in September. I have a couple weeks off to think and pray (among other things.) Maybe God will have inspired me with new ways to get out of the "comfortable zone" by the time it is over.

One theme that has repeated since I was in college is a faith-based Family Life Center. It has never come to pass. But I wonder if one day God will open the door. I don't really see it as being for families, but rather a place for Family to grow - not necessarily related by blood. :-)

And then this Friday I was reminded that our island is limited in what it has to offer children with learning or behavioral difficulties. Hmmm. More to chew on.

Who knows where God will lead.

Happiness Is . . .

2007-01-28T23:17:00.000-10:00

I was getting ready for bed tonight and a song I learned as a child was running through my head.

"Happiness is to know the Savior
Living a life, within His favor
Having a change in my behavior
Hapiness is the Lord."

I had to chuckle. The first couple of lines are okay, but the third one made me laugh. "Having a change in my behavior" Wonder if it was written by a frustrated parent or Sunday School teacher? hehe

General Update 1/21

2007-01-22T00:06:00.000-10:00

As I entered the date, I realized that I put a REALLY wrong date on my tithe check today. I think I dated it January 16. Did I miss a week somewhere? Apparently.

So what is happening with me? Well, we have started the 3rd quarter at WNA. It should be a fun quarter as I am attempting to teach instruments to all my classes. Kindergarten and 1st grade are learning to read rhythm cards. They did quite well with the quarter notes and rests. This week I will throw half notes and rests into the mix and see how they do. By the end of the quarter they will be playing basic rhythm instruments. 2nd and 3rd grade are playing glockenspiels (I never spell that word correctly, but it is German and means "strike the bells.) That is fun. For them it is fun to get to hit something and make noise. For me it is fun that they are reading musical notes to know which bells to hit! 4th and 5th grades are playing the dreaded recorders. Their parents will love me this quarter! 6th grade is playing the ukulele, which is the most interesting class since I myself really don't know how to play the ukulele. I am picking up tips here and there and trusting that my violin and guitar experience pays off! 7th and 8th grade are practicing reading notes using a variety of instruments and the music to one of the songs for our Spring Worship Musical. We are only two weeks into the quarter, but I am happy so far.

I have been absolutely inundated with dreams as of late. I try to journal them in the morning. Sometimes they are vivid and clear, but not always. I wake up with them in my head, but sometimes I am just so tired I fall back asleep. By the time I wake in the morning, those ones are pretty much gone. I know we all dream every night, but it is interesting to have such a long span of remembering my dreams each night. My roommates and I joke that I must get more REM sleep than anyone I know. Sauni believes that sometimes I fall into REM sleep even when I am awake! hehe

I have also had many reminders of how many lost and hurting people there are in the world. People who are desperately searching for something that makes sense. Something that will set them free from the hell that they have been living. It has certainly given a bit of an edge to my prayer life. :-)

Sauni, Becca and I are settled in our new place. We haven't had a house warming yet. Guess we will need to plan one soon. It has a beautiful view from all sides. I wake up each morning looking out on the majestic Koolau mountains. I refuse to put a curtain on that window!

I have decided not to come home for Spring Break in March because I want to work a bit an try to save up some money for traveling this summer. I would still like to travel up the Pacific Coast Hwy. For those of you who live in that area, I would love some tips on cheap, yet clean places to stay along the way. I am also interested in finding info on any ministry groups that meet along the way. I would love to visit as many ministries as I can - churches, small groups, missions, shelters, whatever. I am working on finding a way to visit family in Iowa (and possibly friends in Colorado) before I come back to Hawaii. I am guessing this will all happen in June.

Well, it is 12:15am and I am out of things to say. So I will sign off for now. Be Blessed!

The Power Equation in the Exodus

2007-01-21T23:21:00.000-10:00

For those of you who have never heard it, my pastor (Jordan Seng) has come up with something called the Power Equation to explain how we get power to do miracles.

Quick lesson: Gifting + Faith + Unction + Annointing = Power for Miracles
Gifting refers to your God-given spiritual gifts, Faith is a collective faith of those around when you are trying to work the miracle, Unction is basically dying to flesh so the Spirit can move freely through your spirit and Annointing, well, it is Annointing, but it is pretty much a result of our obedience to God.

If you would like to know more about this teaching, I would encourage you to go back to my website and listen to Jordan's teaching "Introduction to the Supernatural." (If that is not the title of the teaching it is close.)

As I was reading in Numbers Saturday, I was bothered by some of the things I read. The moments in the Old Testament where God seems to waiver back and forth as if He doesn't know what He is about to do bother me. Why would an all-powerful, all-knowing God waiver?

Well, this weekend, I read Numbers 14 in light of the Power Equation and saw things in a whole new light. If the power equation was true in Jesus day and is still true in our day, then it was probably true back in Moses's day. For reasons that can be debated later, God has chosen to work through the above-mentioned things to work miracles. Granted, there may be exceptions when God simply steps in and does things on His own without any of the other things, but generally with humans he tends to work that way.

Reading through the Exodus story, we find it full of miracles. God's presence is with them in a very visual way. They miraculously have food provided for them each day, seas part for them, water comes out of rocks for them, poisonous snake bites are cured, etc. I imagine that the Isrealites needed to possess some type of the Power Equation for things to work the way God planned. Especially when it came time to enter and take the promised land.

So, let's look at Numbers 14.

The Isrealites have been whining and complaining for much of the time they have been traveling in the desert, but here we hit an award winning lack of faith. Moses has sent 12 spies into Canaan to check things out. 10 out of the 12 come back with nothing but tales of future gloom and doom if they try to enter this land. Unfortunately the Isrealites believe the gloom and doom instead of Joshua and Caleb's words of hope and faith. They go into mourning and plot to go back to Egypt. Again.

So, let's inventory their faith equation. Let's rate each item on a scale of 1-10.

Gifting - 10 I am giving them a full score here because the Holy Spirit hadn't fallen like in New Testament times and I figure since the gifting is completely from God anyway, He can provide all he needs for the Isrealites to perform miracles.

Faith - 0 I am afraid I can not give points for Caleb and Joshua when the rest of the Isrealite camp is so faithless.

Unction - 0 These people are quite consumed with things of the flesh. Again, Caleb and Joshua are exceptions, but I don't see any dying to the flesh happening in the rest of the camp.

Authority - 0 The nation is going directly against what God told them to do. I give them a 0 in Authority.

They did not score very well.

Now, you may still think I am a bit crazy for going down this road, but stay with me just a little longer and watch what God does.

In verse 11, God says to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?" Then God tells Moses that He will strike them all down and give him new people to lead into the promised land.

Do you see what God commented on? What got him to the point of finding new people to use? It was lack of faith. God is basically saying, "Why do you still not believe?! I have done everything to show you my presence and offer you hope. Why do you stilln not believe?"

Moses goes on to plead with God using the arguement that the Egyptians will just think that God was not able to bring His people into the land He promised so he slaughtered them.

Contrary to what some may say, I don't think that arguement did much to change God's mind on anything. I doubt He cared how much power the Egyptians thought He had. (I don't think that He would want to be known as a God who slaughtered His people, but that is another story.)

God doesn't interrupt at this point, so Moses goes on, "The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion." He goes on for a few more sentances, ending with a plea for God to forgive the people.

The first thing God resonds with is, "I have forgiven them as you asked." Notice that God did not say, "I will forgive them as you asked." Moses's arguement was not what caused God to forgive. Rather it is almost like God is taking that fear off the table. "Don't worry about forgiveness. That has already been done." God's forgiving - or not forgiving them - did not seem to be the problem. God seems to address that first off and then shove it to the side. "They are forgiven, no worries. Now let's get to the real problem."

This is where God tells Moses that none of the people over 20 will live to enter the promised land except for Joshua and Caleb. I find it interesting to see that God refers to Caleb in this way, "My servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly." Unction and Annointing, anyone?

Toward the end of this part of the story, the original 10 spies who were messengers of gloom and doom, the ones who caused everyone else's faith to plumet, had to be killed. I don't see this as an outpouring of God's wrath, but rather a type of insurance that they will no longer be able to kill the faith of this people. In fact, the death of the men in and of itself appears to sire faith in the people.

Maybe, just maybe, God is working to stack the deck for more miracles in their midst. I am anxious to read through the rest of the Exodus story with this in the back of my mind.

And just a side note - I don't think God did change His mind. He didn't strike down the entire nation with a plague, but He did strike down the instigators - AND he did raise up a new nation, at least from one perspective. He literally raised them up from childhood. And as I stated before. I don't think God forgave the people because of Moses's petition. I think God had already forgiven them. I do believe that Moses's petition showed faith in who the LORD is and in His character. A nice "faith statement" for God to latch onto.

So, those are my thoughts. Yours?

1/6 Thyroid Biopsy

2007-01-20T17:15:00.000-10:00

So I finally got the results of my thyroid biopsy. Guess what? Not conclusive. Apparently they either did not get enough tissue or the tissue was not good enough for them to use for the biopsy. Go figure! Thankfully, the surgeon said that, really, those findings still back up what he suspected. Apparently the non-cancer kind can be rather stingy at giving up pieces of themselves. So, I don't have to redo the biopsy. Yeah for that. However, I do have to go back to having checks every six months for a while. Oh, well. The ultrasound guys at Kuakini are friendly enough.

So, all things considered, not a bad outcome. Although one would think that the least the could do after having put a needle in my thoat multiple times would be to give me a for sure all clear! Ah, well. That has never been the way with my body. It likes to keep the mystery alive . . .

Hope you all had a great first week of 2007!

12/25 Merry Christmas

2007-01-20T17:14:00.000-10:00

It is the evening of December 25th and I finally have a few moments to send out a Christmas Greeting. I hope that you all had a blessed day today, but more so I hope that you have found yourself blessed in general.

Some of you may know that Friday night I got sick with the flu and I was supposed to fly out on Saturday afternoon. I wasn't sure if I would be able to get on the plane (and stay in my seat!). I even called to see if I could postpone my flight, but no deal. So Becca helped me pack and took my sick self to the airport. I was sore and uncomfortable, but I was able to make the trip uneventfully. There has been a crowd at Mom's ever since I got home, just as I knew there would be. Lots of commotion, but it is good commotion. Last night we went to the Christmas Eve service at my sister Donna's church, Trinity. It was a beautiful service and I remember thinking that, even feeling junk, I was grateful for the opportunity to be with family and to have a few minutes to reflect on why I celebrate Christmas in the first place. An old song entitled, "Through It All" ran through my head.

The tag goes,

"I thank God for the mountains,
And I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms
He brought me through;
For if I'd never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do."

I don't always appreciate the storms. I don't like fighting to move forward in the face of a body that feels junk or emotions that are down or situations that seem hopeless. But each time that I see God come through, my faith grows stronger. It doesn't mean that God solves every problem immediately or that He keeps me from them in the first place. It does mean that He always has my back. He pushes me just past where I am comfortable and after I go, He swoops in and puts together the things I was sure would fall apart forever.

Believing past what I can see. This Christmas I am celebrating that I serve a God who is big I am allowed to believe past what I can see. I need to research this myself, but I have been told that God had been silent (at least in the eyes of the Jewish people) for approx 400 years before the birth of Christ. Can you imagine how amazing the news of "God with us" must have sounded after such a long silence?! For generations Jews were asked to believe what they could not see.
I hope that you all find a few minutes of time to reflect on whatever God lays on your heart this Christmas season. "God with us." Yeah!

11/14 Still Without a Voice

2007-01-20T17:12:00.000-10:00

Kind of sounds like a political cause or something, doesn't it? hehe But it is true. I am well into day 4 without a voice and I am about to go buggy! :-) Over the weekend it wasn't too difficult to keep quiet, but now that I am in school it is more difficult. Partly because I teach music. Partly because I just have a lot to say and now it all has to build up inside of me. If I don't get my voice back soon, my head just might explode from all of the information that is not coming out of my mouth.

Makes me wonder, hhhmmmmm. Is this the only way God could get me to shut up? If so, what might he be teaching me through this stuff? To listen? To hold my tongue? To allow Him to work while I sit by quietly and trust? Surely God wouldn't need to teach me any of those things!! hehe

And this is a good time to learn. There is a lot of struggle at work right now. I kept wondering what was wrong with me. Everytime we would get together to pray for Nightlife community, I couldn't get my mind off of the school. I think now I might see why. For confidentiality reasons I can't say much, but it is like the entire school has been thrown into the fire - and it is hot! I am one of two teachers without a voice and we are probably among the best off right now. Sitting quietly and praying quietly while I am watching all of this going around me is certainly a challenge.

Anyway, I need to go teach, but thanks for letting me "talk" with you all for a while! :-)

10/16 Hawaii Welcomed Me Home with a Bang

2007-01-20T17:11:00.000-10:00

I think most of you on the mainland already received the word that all is fine in Hawaii - and those of you who live here, well, you already know as well.

Christmas Break was just a tiny bit stressful with all of the surprise adventures I got to experience on the side. Some of the adventures I knew about in advance, the whole issue of my grandparents in the nursing home and auctioning off their things, for example. I was also pretty sure I would make my first post-Jay visit to Kansas City and it was a given that my emotions would be stirred. I wasn't expecting my neice, Holly, to have emergency surgery nor my sister to elope, nor my Grandma to act out badly enough for them to have to put her in the dementia ward. I would like to say that I didn't expect to be greeted my first morning back with an earthquake, either, but that is not completely true.

I needed to run just a few errands after I arrived home from the airport Saturday evening. As I pulled in off the street and began to back into where I would normally park, I felt strange. For whatever reason, I didn't feel clear to park there. Then I stopped and looked through my car, the question, "Is there anything in here that you are not ready to loose?" ran through my head. I didn't even really think it odd at the time. I gathered together everything that might be important and put it into my bag. I did the same thing with my luggage. Anything that I might need, I put together in one place. Usually it takes me a week or two to completely unpack, but Saturday I just felt the need to do it all. I finally thought about the weirdness of what I was doing, and wondered if we were going to have a flood or windstorm of some sort. I fell asleep knowing that something would be different in the morning, but not exactly sure what.

After active dreams (Denise I will email you the gist of them as most of them concerned you - don't worry, they weren't bad!) I woke up around 5am and drifted between this world and the twilight world until my rude awakening around 7:07am.

After the initial shaking, I went and stood in the doorway to Kate's bedroom and asked her, "Did I just experience my first real earthquake?" Before I finished my question the rolling part of the quake started. That was a weird sensation! Once it finally passed, I checked the radio stations and just as I realized that none of them had live coverage, our electricity went out. Silly me, when I get nervous, I have to go visit the restroom - which is exactly where I was when the 6.0 aftershock hit. hehe (I later found out that one of Kate's friends on the Big Island had his toilet blow up. Yikes! I am glad that mine didn't!)

The loss of cell phone coverage freaked us out for a few minutes as we pondered the possibilities - Were we bombed? Did Mauna Loa blow? Was this just a run of the mill earthquake?

Well, by now everyone knows that we had a 6.7 earthquake, followed by a 6.0 aftershock and many other smaller movements of the earth. Most of Oahu has electricity, although our neighborhood does not. I am typing this from school. It has been overcast for the past couple of days and today it is raining pretty good. Other than that, there is a lot of cleanup happening on the Big Island and, obviously, we still have some cable and electricity issues, but nothing major.

I really need to get to work, but I thought I would send a shout out to those of you who might be wondering what is happening down here.

Pacific Coast Hwy Trip

2007-01-20T17:10:00.000-10:00

Been thinking a lot about this summer and possibly traveling. I am thinking about the possibilities of taking a trip along the Pacific Coast Highway, with a possible detour through Colorado (major detour!) I am thinking a two week trip. Anyone interested?? Thought it might be kind of fun with a group. Let me know if you think you might be interested. It would probably be in June or early July while the bulk of us are out of school.

The Ron Clark Story

2006-08-17T22:09:00.000-10:00

I was home alone tonight working on updating my website and wanted some background noise. I flipped channels for a bit, not sure what I was looking for but I found the Ron Clark story.Ron Clark was a teacher in Harlem. I found myslef quite inspired by his story. Even had a few tears drop. The kids treated him terribly. I am almost 100% sure that I would have walked out after the first week - if not the first day.

It reminded me of so many things - just because kids mistreat you or are rude to you does not mean that they do not need you and that they won't eventually come around - that too many children have no one who believes in them and that it makes an amazing difference when some one does believe in them - that simply staying can sometimes say more than words and teach more than a well planned lesson-and a number of cliches I won't bother to type in.

I recently started teaching again and quickly fell in love with my students. Each one has something unique and special to offer. And I am blessed to be able to work with them in a number of different areas. My prayer is that I will be able to see the hidden gifts in each person I meet and help draw it out. (I confess, sometimes I have a hearder time doing that with adults than children!)

Nightmare on Ohe Street

2006-08-16T20:52:00.000-10:00

Good day to you. I had an interesting experience today and thought I would share it since it goes so well with the upcoming season. :-) Warning!! Do not read this story if you have arachnophobia!!

Usually I wear slippers to work and then change into tennis shoes when I arrive. Today I decided to change shoes before I went inside. I put my right shoe on and was in the process of putting my left shoe on when I felt something.

I look down and notice an ant on my arm. (Sleep has not been a high priority this week and the less sleep I have, the less my eyes focus, explaining why I didn't notice the problem with my eyes - especially on black shoes) The process of looking at my arm brought my shoe closer to my eyes and I noticed that it was covered with what I thought were ants.

My skin crawled a little, but I figured I could shake them out of my shoe. I took my right shoe off and the ants scattered in different directions. The shoe was soon empty. The critters in my left shoe, however, did not scatter. Upon closer examination, I realized that my left shoe was literally crawling with spiders. Yes, spiders. There were a few ants but the spiders were everywhere. Must have been hundreds of them running around - inside my shoe. Chicken skin anyone? That was strange enough, I thought. But when I searched my backseat for signs of more spiders (after the shoes were tossed out of my car), there were none. It would appear that ALL of the critters had taken residence in my shoes! (Not sure I want to know what that implies!) As I wore my shoes yesterday, I have no idea what happened, but it shook me up - a lot. Who needs horror movies??

Hope you enjoyed my story - it really happened, I will be shopping to replace my shoes this weekend. By the time I got out from work they were missing. Either someone else needed them or the spiders carried them away!

Altar Call

2006-08-16T20:49:00.000-10:00

Tonight I went to the Hawaii District Campmeeting for the Nazarene Church. The worship team from Ma'ili Samoan Church of the Nazarene was leading worship. I love that group! So much fun! Sitting in my pew, feeling the wind blow accross my face, listening to children run and play outside, I felt so at home. It was campmeeting. Open air worship, a call to search your heart and a time for renewal. A time set aside from our busy schedules to spend an entire week focused on God. (or at least the evenings of that week)

As usual, there was an altar call at the end of the service. A call to respond to the plan God has for your life. Now there has been some debate in the church I am attending as to whether altar calls are nec. Do we want to include them?After all, there is no Biblical record of them, per se. What good do they do?? Tonight, as I watched the teenagers head for the altar, I was reminded of what the altar represents, or should. Teenagers are a great example of what the church should be when it comes to altar calls. When 1 responds, the rest follow. There may be 10 teenagers surrounding and praying for the 1 who went forward.

That is what we, as the body of Christ, should be doing for one another. When one is hurting, we should all gather around. Yes, altar calls are a good opportunity to invite people to accept Christ. And yes, altar calls can make some very uncomfortable. But they are so much more. They are an opportunity, in a world that is far too busy, to stop and say, "I am broken." or "I need to deal with God - now." They remind us that we are all weak, and offer us the chance to support one another. I have heard it said many times that 80% or more of what happens in most churches could happen without the presence of God (other than to sustain life, of course!). Altar calls must be in the other 20%. How many times have I been running from God's voice, only to get caught in an altar call. Regular services were easy enough to deal with because immediately after the message (when God was speaking to me), a short prayer would be said and service dismissed. People would turn, smile, talk, laugh, eat, leave. In other words, distraction, distraction, distraction, distraction. Then, conviction forgotten. Altar calls made it more difficult. Even if I chose not to respond outwardly. I had to at least listen. There was no distraction - unless I created my own. :-) Oh, the familiar feeling of dread, as you know that God is telling you to take care of business and you are scared to death to step out. What will people think? What will you tell them if they ask you what you are praying for? Also familiar, is the incredible sense of relief and release as you hit your knees and know that you were obedient. Some times, that is all that happened for me during an altar call. I was simply called to obey. Other times, I dealt with issues that lead myself and those praying with me to tarry for an hour or more. Hhhmmm, come to think of it, one of the "tarry" times was during a campmeeting. It was when God first prompted me to respond to a call to full time ministry and service. I think Steve preached out of Acts. That is all I remember about the sermon. I remember the altar call, though. Because that is where things changed. A few friends and a couple loving adults stayed and prayed through with me until the end, sharing scriptures and insights periodically along the way.

Are altar calls nec. in a church service? Probably not, but I definately feel that they have their place, especially when done well - with God doing the prompting and not man doing the manipulating. However we choose to do it, we must never forget to lift up the body. Remember, the enemy is prowling about, seeking whom he may devour. Sooner or later, we are all injured in battle. Hopefully we also grow occasionally, and that growth can be painful as well. The church must be humble enough to be vulnerable within the body and caring enough to support one another - no matter what. A line from a song, "why do the chosen kill their wounded?" has not ceased to haunt me since the first time I heard it. We must not kill our wounded but rescue them and nurture them back to health. If they leave the fold completely, we must pursue them with our love and prayers until the are brought back home.

Thank you for, once again, reading through my rambled thoughts!!

Pondering . . .

2006-08-16T20:48:00.000-10:00

Friday at nap time, the ladies at work were talking about the importance, in some cultures, of being pure. Not of heart, but of blood. One race only in the family. Angie, our director, mentioned that they have found scientific evidence that all people have a common ancestor. That started me thinking. In Hawaii we have so many people groups and cultures. Some "pure", most mixed or hapa. As my weekend unfolded, I kept wondering what kind of beautiful and incredible people God must have created. God must have created within Adam and Eve the DNA to produce all shades and colors. I am sure that adaptation has played a part to some extent, but they were the beginning of "recessive genes." ( I think that is the correct term.) Just gives me another reason to look forward to Heaven. What a joy to be able to see the world - and each other - free of sin.

Saturday night, I went to Rumours with a friend. It is a nightclub at Ala Moana Hotel. The were playing retro music and I thought it would be fun to dress retro and go. Originally there were 6 of us going. Ended up being 2, but we did dress up. What a pair we were. My friend dressed up 70s and looked nice. I however, wore a torn sweatshirt and very poofy hair. One small detail that I had not considered was that Ala Moana is one of the nicer hotels. Part of the point of dressing differently was to set ourselves apart from those going for the "meat market" atmosphere. Well, I would say that we were definately set apart! hehe It has been a while since I have been out to a club and this experience was a bit different. People take partying way too seriously. One girl in particular caught my eye repeatedly. Before the 2 hours were over I found myself quietly praying for her.

I remember going to one of my grandpa's weddings. They had a dance afterward. People of all ages were dancing, from toddlers to senior citizens. The music was PG or PG13. I think I like that atmosphere better.

I got to be in church service today. Combining this morning's worship with last night's dancing, I had the somewhat odd desire to twirl in circles in the midst of an open field with worship music playing around me. Later today, I was singing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" This verse caught my attention:

Summer and Winter and Springtime and Harvest. Sun, moon and stars in their courses above. Join with all nature in manifest witness to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness. Morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand has provided. Great is thy faithfulness. Lord, unto me.

Many religions today worship creation. I prefer to worship the creator but what a joy to be able to worship the creator with creation - and in the midst of creation. I love to worship and pray outside.

That was my weekend!

July 4 Weekend 2003

2006-08-16T20:47:00.000-10:00

"Yeah! It's Thursday and I only have 30 minutes until I am free for 3 days!!"

Then it happens. A parent comes down the stairs, opens the gate and says, "I'm sorry honey, but you have a flat tire." All I could say was, "What?! Again?!!?" The children are finally gone just before 5:30pm and I am able to go up to the parking lot to find out how bad the senerio really is. Back tire, not needed for steering. Low, but not completely flat. Hhhmmm. I will try the service station. I babied my car down the street to Texaco. I put air in my tire - although I have no idea how much. Those who have said I have wisdom beyond my years have never watched me around a car.

I decided I had better keep an eye on my tire as I take my car to Sears so I tried to make my passenger side mirror reflect my tire. It only worked if I leaned accross the seat to look at it. That could negatively affect my driving, so I vetoed the idea. I get to Sears and an hour later find out that I have a nail in my tire. By now, the nice gentlemen at Sears practically know me on a first name basis and didn't even bother to ask if I had bought the tire there. The man simply shook his head, as if with pity, and told me there would be no charge. (They probably do that for everyone, but I thought that it was nice.) On the way out they informed me that one headlight was out. Mental note - get headlight changed.

The rest of Thursday night I didn't do much. Then came Friday. Most of you already know that I went to the Kailua parade on Friday. After living in Council Bluffs, this parade was actually a bit of a let down. Being from a small town, every band within driving distance came to march. Lots of music, big trucks, performers, etc. Even the elementary schools would march. This parade had 2 school marching bands - both from the mainland, 1 military band and NO local school bands. I kept waiting to hear the base drums or see the flags flying through the air. No. We did get to see all of the Hawaii politicians, plenty of McKenna car dealership advertisements, the shriners and some scout troups. Lots of local advertisement. The people I was with were fun though. And at least I got to go to a parade.

I spent the rest of the day at home. Got to talk to Jay for a while who placed the idea into my head to rent a movie. I did. They were good.

Saturday was my day to play. We started out at A'ala Park, a place where many homeless hang out - some live. The goal? Pass out cake and sandwiches and help them celebrate the holiday. This we did. We also laid out copies of the Gospel of John and the Four Spiritual Laws. A few people sat and read them while they ate their snacks. Fine with us!! :-) Naive group of people that we were, many of us didn't realize until later that there was drug activity going on in the park. Looking back on it, I think one group of people sitting on a bench were actually laughing at our naivity. I boldly (hehe) walked over to them and offered them food. All but one turned me down. I guess most groups who bring food go to the other end of the park. I found out why. We all know that homeless people come in all shapes and sizes, but my heart was wrenched when I walked accross the park to deliver food to those who had not come over and found many of them in wheelchairs or missing arms or legs.

The people were very gracious. In fact, when I pulled in and started unpacking my car, a couple of homeless ladies (& 1 gentleman) came to help carry things to our site. Toward the end we put away our table and simply carried the food and water around the park. My heart rejoiced as I stepped back and watched Debra eagerly passing out Four Spiritual Laws Booklets and Aunty Jo stopping to pray for people. Arlene and her friend were busy making sure things ran smoothly and people felt welcomed.

By 1pm, we still had the equivelent of 1 Costco cake left. Debra and I decided to hit family day at Waikiki. The rest of the cake (and water) almost flew out of our hands. People there were hungry, too! I had the opportunity to pass out 7 of the Gospel of John. One lady took it saying, "Oh, I'm not a Christian." I smiled and told her that she may take it anyway. It makes good reading.

For those of you on the mainland. There was a court battle here last week. The Christian Coalition sponsored a parade to kick off Family Day. A group called something like "Parents of Gay and Lebian Children" or some such thing was not granted permission to march in the parade. The ACLU took the city and the Christian Coalition to court in hopes of having a judge allow them into the parade. That didn't happen. The press made it sound like this huge battle that had enraged the entire gay community and split the rest. I know there were protesters at the end of the parade, but I think reports may have been slightly eggagerated. They had a booth up at the Family Day Fair (that part was sponsored by the city.) It had a gay flag, mean signs and a sour looking man behind a table. Nothing for children or to build relationships - or even to draw a crowd for that matter. I wanted so badly to go up to that man - or maybe write a letter to the editor to pass on my mom's advice. She used to tell me that you can't legislate morality. Laws don't change a persons heart. That must be done one person at a time. She also told me that honey will attract more flies than vinegar. Enough of that.

I stayed all day and then went to the Beach to watch Lilo and Stitch. You would not believe the number of people on that beach!!!!!!!!!!!!! We arrived an hour before things started and literally had to climb over people to find a small piece of sand to sit on. The line to get food took 45-60 minutes. I was standing in that line when they set off the fireworks. I felt like a little kid as I listened to the military band play "Stars and Stripes Forever" and watched the fireworks go off over the ocean. Everything stopped for the show, and it was worth it. Stitch was just heading for Earth when I finally found my seat in the ocean of people. This movie is just more fun when you watch it outside on Waikiki Beach. :-)

The trip home provided more adventures. I should have waited longer before leaving, but I didn't. As a result my car began to show signs of overheating, so I pulled over and sat until the rest of traffic was gone. It was during this time that I realized that I, or something in my car, still carried the stench of the homeless people we had spent time with that morning. My first reaction was, "Ugh! What is that doing in my car?!" That reaction was soon followed by a memory of hearing Jim Cymbala talk about an encounter that he had with a homeless person who visited his church. The stench was so overwhelming that he had to look away while he was talking to the man. As he recounts it, God got his attention in the middle of that conversation and told him that this stench represented the world Christ gave His life for. What an honor to be entrusted with caring for those Christ loves.

Eventually traffic thinned out and I thought I was home free. No such luck. As I was heading to the Highway, I realized why traffic had been so slow. They had a DUI checkpoint set up. Remember that headlight?? Yeah, I got pulled over. The officer was very nice. I had not switched out insurance cards when I got my new ones. Other people must do that fairly often as well because as he was writing the ticket, he was also showing me the number to call and telling me what to get from my insurance company, etc. My purse had been in the trunk. Lucky I think out loud. The officer asked me for my liceanse and I said to myself. "Oh, I put my purse in the trunk this afternoon." I released my seatbelt and started to open the door when the officer stepped back and said in a loud voice, "Getting out of the car." or something like that. It was then that I realized I probably should have asked for permission first. Oops. Eventually, I got home.

This morning was good. I didn't have to teach so I was able to be more social as I set up AND I got to be in the church service. We tried centers in Keiki church. The idea went over well. The water table in the first center didn't go over so well. After playing nicely for 15 minutes or so, the children began to pour the water over each others heads. Okay, next idea. :-) (Thanks Karen and Brandi for being such good sports!)

I trust that each of you also had a wonderful holiday weekend.

Blessings!
Jeannie Hughes

A Lesson in Trust/Cockroach Story

2006-08-16T20:45:00.000-10:00

Hi, for those of you who appreciated the "spider" story, tonight I have a follow up.

Let me begin by telling you about a few of the things I read today. I finished the book of Joshua. In the 3rd to the last paragraph it says "Isreal served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everthing the LORD had done for Israel." It reminded me of the importance of experiencing God, not just hearing about things He has done.

Then I got caught up in the book of Ecclesiastes. I forgot how much I enjoy that book. It is like crawling inside Solomon's brain and reviewing his life with him while hearing his most personal thoughts and frustrations. It reminded me that happiness comes from knowing God is in control and doing what He allows you to do - no matter what the "toil".

Now that you have the background of what God had spoken to me about earlier in the day, I will share the sequel to the "Spider Story." It is entitled, "Cockroach Story."

I came home tonight after a wonderfully busy day full of blessings. I found out there is a slight possibility that Kailua United Methodist Church may give me the money to take the college course I would need to allow me to keep my job. If this happened, I would not have to find a new job, would get a $2/hour raise and a full 40 hours a week. I don't know that God will open that door, but it was nice to know that the chairperson of the Preschool board wanted me to stay enough to go to the church with the request. Being my first day back with the children (with the exception of 1 day) in almost 2 weeks, I was blessed by the warm reception and precious concern from my preschoolers. Then a quick trip home to clean up and back out to 8th grade graduation at WNA (Chelsey, one of my 5th grade girls, graduated - catching up with her original class), followed by a meeting. I finally reached home around 11:15pm. As always, I did a quick visual sweep of my apartment for spiders and such. The living area was good. (whew!) So I head toward the bathroom and turn on the light. There he is - on the ceiling of all places! My nemesis, the cockroach. Now I think this is the same cockroach that I have seen over the last few days. He seems to enjoy retreating into the overflow drain in the side of my sink. (I like to delude myself into thinking that he entered my apartment alone and only through that drain.) Now the delimma. It is now close to 11:30pm. If I have to kill that thing on the ceiling, I will wake everyone up above me. (We all know that cockroaches do not just rollover and die easily) (Also Shani and Eddie have their bedroom right above my studio). The second issue is gravity. I was convinced that if I swatted that thing with my shoe, it would fall on my arm. I don't think I would like that. So the waiting/games began. First I tried turning the light on and off. Then I pulled a folding chair (ok, my only chair) into my little bathroom and stood on it, shoe in hand. Then the bargaining begn.

"Okay God. I can do this. I can kill this critter. But can you get it off the ceiling so it won't fall on me?"

"Just kill it, Jeannie."

"Uh, yeah. As soon as it crawls off the roof and onto the wall, it is dust."

Various forms of this same interaction repeated throughout this little drama. I need to let those of you on the mainland know that this is not what you might consider to be a cockroach. It is it's buff cousin. First I decided to wait. I wasn't that tired and surely it would move eventually. My extreme gifting in the area of patience allowed me to stand and stare at it - for approximately 3 minutes. I did manage to learn that, this cockroach at least, has balance issues when trying to walk upside down on the ceiling. Next I decided I would help it along with my handy dandy Behold (yes, this would be the same dusting spray that turned spider nice and white). I stood on my chair and sprayed my dusting tool from various angles in hopes of driving my nemisis off of the ceiling and onto the wall. Didn't work. It did however move him from the angle where wall meets ceiling into open ceiling.

"Here is your shot Jeannie. Kill him now."

"No thanks God. You can do anything so get him off my ceiling. I think he is eating the Behold!"

"Do you trust me?"

"Odd timing God, but yes. That would be why I am asking you to get him off the ceiling."

"Kill him on the ceiling."

"I can't. I am not willing to let him fall on me."

This continued for a few minutes until the absolute absurdity of what I am doing sinks in. I serve the God that created everything I know and more. And I am afraid to kill a cockroach because it might fall on me. Pathetic much?? I must confess that I still did not kill the cockroach with the shoe - wait yes I did, but I am not there yet. I decided that my faith in God was bigger than my fear of the cockroach falling on me, and I got creative. I knew the broom would do nothing. (This was later proved true) So I grabbed my dustpan and attached it to the bottom of my broom. I slammed the ceiling hoping to kill it in one swipe. (Yeah, right) Instead, the critter hitchhiked a ride on the dustpan. I slammed him into the floor causing the dust pan to drop off of the broom. I kept hitting the floor thinking "must get it, must get it" I am not sure what happened, but I think the roach stuck to my broom, but it was not dead. So I shook it off and then killed it with 2 or 3 strikes of my shoe. I am always amazed at the vast variety of cockroach inerds. This one had purple, and he stunk when I killed him. Didn't expect that! Ugh.

I am sure that at least some of you are rolling your eyes thinking, "What on earth would she do with a Cobra in her apartment?" But I really think God kept that critter on the ceiling for a reason. I probably could have sat up all night and watched it lift 1 leg at a time without it really going anywhere. Why? Because I need to be experiencing the fact that I am a child of the King of the universe. In everything I do, everyday, I need to remember who my "Father" is and take courage. It may seem silly to need courage to kill a cockroach, but if I am not obedient in the silly things, how can I expect to be obedient in more important things. It may take a while (and knowing me, a bit of arguing) but eventually I will learn how to take authority like a true daughter of the King. Here's hoping you get to experience God for yourself in an unexpected way.

Malachi 2

2006-08-16T20:44:00.001-10:00

I was reading Malachi tonight and ended up journaling 7 pages on the 2nd chapter. I know that I tend to run on, but that is a lot, even for me.

Have you read this passage recently? God is talking to the priests. Rebuking might be a more accurate term. He is comparing how Levi served as compared to how the priests of that day were serving. I have often thought of I and II Timothy as the books the place to go when searching for teaching on how to be a good leader or teacher (although we now know that Joshua also touches on this area), but I didn't realize that all of this was here in Malachi. I always thought of this as the "tithing book."

I just wanted to share with our leadership some of what God highlighted for me tonight. (Don't worry, I am leaving out the 7 pages of personal commentary that was just for me.) ;-) Most of the "qualities" are found in verses 6 & 7, although the last 2 were found in vs. 16. As a leader (priest?!) I should . . .

1) Have and show Reverence for God.

2) Stand in awe of God's name.

3) Be Honest in all I say and do.

4) Walk With God.

5) Turn many from sin. (Ouch!)

6) Preserve Knowledge (Preserve in myself, but also for others, hence part of the reason I am sharing what I have learned - am learning.)

7) Have a mouth that others seek instruction from because I am a messenger of the Lord.

8) Guard myself in my spirit.

9) Do not break faith.

I understand that many use the last 2 as instructions for marriage, but being single, God reminded me that He often speaks of His people as His bride and we are to guard our spirits for him, just as we would for a spouse. Same thing for breaking faith.

Thanks for taking the time to listen (read?) what God is teaching me tonight. Keep me in mind next time God prompts you to share what you are learning. I love to watch how God grows us.

Blessings!
Jeannie Hughes

Love One Another?

2006-08-16T20:44:00.000-10:00

Our Pastor has encoured us to participate in a worship feast - fasting from secular music and influences and replacing it with some form of worship. As a result, I have limited my tv watching to the morning news. Not the most uplifting programing in the world. A few of the headlines I heard

*Updates on some kind of high school hazing gone bad.

*A report on a mother who is being accused of getting overly aggressive at her child's baseball game

*The bombing in Saudi Arabia

*Democratic Politicians in Texas walk out in protest over a rezoning proposition

Now, I am sure that you have all heard these headlines and more. I am equally sure that some of them are sensationalized by the media. But it disturbes me just the same. Our preteens (at church) have been studying the 10 commandments and all of our children are learning Matthew 22:37-39. We have discussed how those 2 commandments (love the Lord your God . . . and love your neighbor as yourself) sum up the rest of the law. As I listen to these stories, my heart mourns. How many of us who are Christians can truly say that in all we do we put God first, giving Him everything that we have and that we are loving our neighbor as ourselves. Philippians chapter 2 tells us that we should do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves. Each one should look not only to their own interests, but also to the interests of others. It goes on to remind us that our attitude should be like that of Jesus Christ. What follows is heavy. Some call it the kenosis passage. It describes how - well, check it out - "who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a servant." It goes on, but you get the point. God, Himself gave us the example of putting others first by making himself nothing and being obedient to death, even death on a cross.

I know that I fall short on following that example, but watching the news this morning challenged me. If you think about it, I think you will realize that when someone sacrifices something - even something small - for your benefit, it makes an impact. More of an impact than words ever could. I wonder how much we could impact our world if we consciously practiced putting others first on a daily basis. How long would it take for us to see lives changed? Do you think it would be possible to change the world enough to change the "taste" of the news headlines??

Thanks for listening to my ramblings - I now have to run to work!

Blessings!
Jeannie Hughes
"I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness for sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me." Acts 26:18

Spider

2006-08-16T20:42:00.000-10:00

Tonight I met what I believe to be my first cane spider. I didn't stop to grab an encyclopedia, but spindly did not come close to describing the legs on this baby. They were trees! So cane spider or other - he was ugly!!!

So I come home from a nice night out with friends. It is around 11pm and I was ready to check out for the night - or so I thought. I unlock my door, turn on the light, then begin to close the door, turning to toss my slippers where they usually rest and something catches my eye. Yep, my new "friend". I am grateful that I am young and have a strong heart. I don't like the little spiders with the long legs, or even the cute little black jumping spiders, but this created nightmares in my brain while I was still quite awake.

At first, the insane thought crossed my mind that I might just let the guy live. After all, at school, we are always telling the children not to kill "God creatures". Then again, this creature was inside my living space. A quick glance toward my bed made up my mind. (For those of you who do not know, my bed is approx. 6 inches off the floor - I think the spider's legs, when extended, would easily reach that far.

Once the decision was reached not to just leave it alone, I got the brilliant idea to "encourage" my friend to go back outside. After all, creatures raised in nature are supposed to have a survival instinct, right? When given the choice between me and freedom outside, he should choose freedom outside. If that is the case, this spider had mental deficiencies.

I have been stocking my apartment slowly and had not yet got around to poison, since creatures hadn't been a big problem up until now. But, I did find Behold dusting spray on sale at Daiei the other day. And I had hairspray. Hhhmmmm. Guess those will work.

I walk over to the door (the spider was just inside the door.) and spray a little Behold toward it while opening the door. Instead of seeing an opportunity for freedom and running out the door, this stupid little creature came at me - big creature with smelly spray. Needless to say, I continued spraying deciding to use the Behold with one hand and the hairspray with the other. The spider turned white and slowed down, but he was still coming toward me. It left me no choice. I put down the hairspray and grabbed a slipper (a big, heavy one) and while I continued spraying with my right hand (the Behold), I used my left hand to slam my slipper on top of it. Twice. I couldn't stand the thought of picking it up with a tissue, nor did I want to leave it there in case of miraculous revival, so I grabbed my broom and swept him outside where he should have gone in the first place.

So now, the spider is dead (or maimed), my Behold is about half gone, and my apartment smells disturbingly clean - and I am trying to come up with a plan of action in case I see one of those monsters again.

Just thought I would share my adventure with you - especially since I am now wide awake!

Hope you all are having a blessed weekend!

Jeannie

Bagdad Ramblings

2004-12-05T20:38:00.000-10:00

I was watching the news this morning, and I must admit that my geography is lacking. I didn't realize that the Tigris and Ephrates met in Bagdad. I happened to be getting ready for work when I heard the bombings near the Tigris. I was overwhelmed with the thought that this must be near the spot where the Garden of Eden was. The pictures showed what appeared to be a rather barren land. We serve a God that is very familiar with war, but how it must break His heart to see what began as such an amazing, beautiful creation (The Garden of Eden) now a desert land, run by a man who willingly will harm his own people. Then to see bombs causing even more destruction.

Don't get me wrong. I understand why we are fighting this war. Some of my children at the daycare have daddies over there fighting for us. The symbolism just grabbed ahold of me. How what I described above so well represents what we have done to God's creation. To each other, to our environment - even how we have turned away from God's commands that were created to keep us safe and make our lives full. As the Iraquis are surrendering to us at the border, I pray that our people will surrender to God. It has been my prayer for the last couple of days that God will use this war to show Himself sovereign. Of course I want us to win, but more than that, I long for the world to know beyond a doubt that "there is one God in Isreal." I say this knowing that what God might choose to do to reveal Himself would probably leave me shaking in my socks.

Thanks for listening to my thoughts. Keep praying. :-)

Blessings,

Jeannie

Something New

2004-12-05T20:22:00.000-10:00

In an attempt to continue building my new website without overloading my brain with HTML, I am playing around with blogs to see if I can do what I wish to do through this medium. I am going to try to post pictures and some of my ramblings and we shall see how it works. I think eventually I can get this to be an actual part of my website and not just a page I can link to.

Let me know if you get to this page. Hopefully I will soon be able to post information about my new business teaching Music and Movement.