Charismatic Nazarene?

Earlier, I blogged a bit about our Prayer Retreat (in June) and some of our Ala Moana Park adventures that followed. Somehow, in the midst of all this, Keiger and I have emerged as leader type people. Not that we have been given any power (well, not earthly power, anyway) but at least a few people have decided to come along for the ride.

It still feels a little odd for this Nazarene girl to find people looking to her for charismatic leadership. Why, to watch, one might think I actually knew what I was doing. :-) True, I left the Nazarene church a number of years ago, but in many ways it still has my heart. Many of her ministers and missionaries are good friends of mine.

My heart has always known that I was a mystic. I always related better to them in Church History. Heck, I remember anointing a piece of sidewalk at MNU asking God to set that place aside as Holy - that people who walked across it would feel the presence of God. And the rules bothered me. I just could not buy into the theory that obeying rules made you holy. Obedience is good, but simply following rules is too easy.

When I first began praying in tongues, I emailed one of my old professors. People had started asking me about it, so I went to a source I trusted for scriptural guidance. He gave me great scriptures and told me that tongues were not for the church today and that one should not rely on experience as one's teacher. So I looked up and researched all the scriptures he sent out. And realized that I didn't agree with his assessment. Statements in scripture were not strong enough to support tongues not existing today. In fact, Paul's descriptions seemed very much like what I had experienced. I wonder if the strong church stance against it has more to do with the divisive history of this particular gift than Biblical evidence against it.

Enough on tongues, but that was when I realized that I could probably not return to the Naz church, at least not at this time.

My journey has led me to see people healed (and unfortunately, some not), delivered from spirits and strongholds (called by many different names), witnessed (and delivered a few) prophetic words. Fun stuff. I love it.

But guess what. When I find myself running low on energy, faith, hope - spiritual fruit, I suppose, it is my early Naz teachings that get me back on my feet. Somehow, God used my church to instill in me the importance of obedience and sacrifice. Not to man made rules, but surrender to God. I learned how to choose trust when my humanness can not fall into it naturally. I learned that true power comes through surrender. I learned that everything should be tested against the Word of God. I learned that nights spent in prayer often result in miracles happening before your eyes (or in mission fields far away).

So, while I may no longer fit well into the Naz mold, I am grateful beyond words to my mentors from that tradition. God used you to keep me steady and sure footed. Thank you for being used. :-)